It is Saturday, and the temperature is very pleasant, reaching the low to mid-20s during the day and dropping to the mid to late teens at night.

It has not rained in a couple of weeks, and it is rarely windy.

Rio is usually windier in the middle seasons. The truth is, we often know it is going to rain in Rio, or that stormy weather is on the way with the wind. It gets unusually windy before, and then you know rain is on the way.

Today has been a slow day. I wanted to post two blog posts, but my blog has been down since last night. I don’t know what has happened. I haven’t called or sent Alex a message. If it is serious, he would have called or informed me, but so far, nothing. I will give him until Monday, and if there is no news, I will contact him.

What was different today was that we went out for lunch. Yasmin, Nalva and I do not often go out, as going to a decent restaurant in Rio nowadays is a small luxury. Food is very expensive.

I knew that Nalva had bought fish for tomorrow, so I thought we could go to a restaurant, avoid her complaining, and try to keep the peace. I was thinking of one of the two restaurants at the other end of Rua Marques de Abrantes, one of the main roads in Flamengo, which is just next to our building.

As we were walking up Flamengo, about 10 minutes in, halfway up, we passed a per-kilo restaurant we used to go to a lot when we were married, and I would take Yasmin there a lot when Nalva was working.

I had taken Yasmin once after we had separated, but it was not the same as before. We stopped in front, and I asked them if they thought it was interesting and asked Nalva to have a look at the food counter. She came back and said the food looked good, so we went in.

We found a table, and I told Nova to ask him to go and choose their food while I waited.

They came back with a lot of picanha, Brazilian steak that looked good. I then went and got some salad and a lot of steak, and we ate. I drank a beer, Yasmin matte Brazilian iced tea, and Nalva sparkling mineral water.

The food was better than the last time I had been there. They had redeemed themselves a little. I paid R$150 for the three of us, no starters, dessert, just main course and drinks, which is about £22. I think that’s comparatively cheap for English standards.

On the way home, Yasmin asked if we could have dessert at the Portuguese baker’s, so we stopped off there, and we all had dessert. Small cakes made from mil folhas, which is flaky pastry in English, came to another R$40, bringing the total to about R$200 for three for lunch, which is a little less than £30. I thought it wasn’t so bad, considering we ate steak.

We got home, rested, and in the evening we ate homemade nachos that Nalva had prepared, paired with a very good bottle of cheap wine. It was a simple but very pleasant day.

Be kind and be happy, and if you can’t be happy, still be kind, but not naïve!

In bed by 11 p.m.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.

Richard

Photos by Richard George Photography

The post A Simple Saturday Lunch Out first appeared on The Long Gringo.

It is Friday, and it has been a relatively busy week with its share of highs and lows.

‘The long gringo’ blog is not yet monetised, but I am not too worried or disheartened. It is just a question of time, even though it has taken much longer than planned. That is the way it goes.

I have also set my priorities for the rest of the year. I want to develop my bracelets and put ‘Placebeads’ online. I have already set up the site superficially; it just needs a professional touch and Alex to finish it off. However, as a financial concern, it is not so interesting for the moment.

The following 5 or 6 months are 100% focused on ‘The long gringo’ for blogging and vlogging, and ‘Teahogui’, for an online digital agency for languages and culture, and ‘The right way’, my old school is being resurrected for online didactic classes through YouTube.

Even though progress may be slower than planned, it’s essential to recognise that you are still making progress and have not come to a complete stop. Being halted is one of the most difficult feelings to endure.

Many negative emotions and thoughts, such as frustration, bitterness, and aggression, stem from a deep sense of stagnation, feeling stuck in the mud with no way out, immobilised, with our hands tied and our eyes blindfolded, unable to see a solution. However, it’s essential to remember that there is always a way forward.

Sometimes it is just a matter of staying still and quiet, stopping, standing still in the eye of the hurricane, letting it pass, and watching everything pass by and around you at 100 kilometres per hour. All you need to do is wait for it to pass by slowly.

For sure, it will take longer than you want or expect, but eventually it will be gone. Another storm may be brewing on the horizon to take its place. Still, it is normal. Life is just a matter of weathering, sometimes battling against the storms, and between the storms, there is sunshine, and when we can stand in the sunshine with the sun on our faces.

When there is no wind or rain, we must learn to appreciate it and make the most of it, because it won’t last long. Remember, a new storm is already forming far away, so make the most of the nice days while you can, because they won’t last long.

Yesterday, I paid Alex R$1000 to start ‘Teahogui’!

This is a major project, and its scale and what it represents concern me. It is more of a start-up than a small site and company, and it may be too large. Venture capital will need to be injected, but again, it’s all part of the journey, and I’m doing a lot of wishful thinking to contemplate it.

I have sometimes put the brakes on when doing something so exciting because of insecurity and low self-esteem, or a sense of worthlessness has held me back. Exercise and a positive daily routine have changed that. Both ‘the long gringo’ and ‘Teahogui’ ought to go stratospheric in the future, and it’s good for me.

Besides thinking about the week and realising not everything had been done, it was a good Friday, with only a few classes because of midterm holidays, a good morning workout, and a bottle of wine in the evening.

In bed by 11 p.m.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.

Richard

Photos by Richard George Photography

The post A Reflective Friday | The Storms We Face first appeared on The Long Gringo.

It’s Wednesday, and in just over two weeks, Julie will be arriving in Rio.

Am I excited?

I don’t know if ‘excited’ is the right word. I am calm, slightly anxious, but pleased to know she will arrive soon. It’s a mystery to me, and probably to anyone else, how it will turn out. As I just wrote, this will be a holiday for me, the kind of holiday I have never truly had!

A solid month without teaching classes, worrying about money, and spending special time with someone I want to be with. I haven’t told her this yet, but I will, just as she told me she has never really had a holiday where she can relax with someone she truly wants to be with; it’s pretty much the same for me.

I want to make the most of every moment to enjoy our time together.

The only work I’ll be doing during this period will be blog posting and uploading some YouTube videos. Whenever I can, I want to set aside an hour and a half each day for these activities. Classes no.

Although I will miss teaching, and it will feel quite strange, it is good to take a break from teaching during this time to recharge my batteries and invest a little more in myself as well.

I’ve always carried the burden of teaching; the pressure of having to instruct has consistently weighed on me, along with the stress of bills and supporting others.

Now that I have a bit of financial freedom, just enough to breathe, relax, collect my thoughts, consider the future, and properly bid farewell to the old year while welcoming the new one with someone special.

Not much happens in the first couple of months of the new year here in Brazil, so for many, giving classes won’t make much difference. In a way, I’m doing my pupils a favour by giving them a longer break because everything really only restarts after Carnaval.

This brief month that Julie will be here will be very special for me, and hopefully for us in many ways.

We have not slept together yet; it will be our first time. We haven’t lived together in such a short-term, permanent arrangement before. If this month goes well, what will our plans be? Will we stay together in the future, or part ways even if everything is good?

We can love someone but not necessarily be able to live with that person. We might enjoy their company, but something minor could prevent it from progressing further. There are so many variables and possibilities that the whole situation, like any, remains a mystery, and all we can do is try our best in the sincerest way possible.  

It’s not easy, no, but we must try.

I feel that our relationship experiences some minor fluctuations, but overall, it is clear we enjoy each other’s company very much. It is normal for us to talk for hours without noticing how long it has been. I am not used to it; it is something new and strange for me, although I appreciate it greatly.

When I was in England, our time together was very meaningful. We cherished each other’s company deeply. It seemed that the time we spent apart there acted as a catalyst for what we are experiencing now.

We talk every day; we have spoken honest and sincere, frank words to each other, but never unkind, and I believe that is very important.

It all depends on when she arrives and what will happen. I expect only good things, and it is our responsibility to ensure that, only ours, nobody else’s.

There is a lot to happen in the next couple of months with Julie, my work, Brazil, and England. I feel that I have been planting, and I still am, and that next year I will be able to start harvesting what I have already planted.

Let it come, and I will receive it all with open arms!

In bed by 9 p.m.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.

Richard

Photos by Richard George Photography

The post Wednesday, the 11th of December 2024: “Anticipating Julie’s Arrival”!!! first appeared on The Long Gringo.

It’s Saturday, and I’m alone this weekend. Yasmin isn’t with me, so this is my time to do whatever I want within reason.

Sometimes on weekends, I do slightly less exercise than during the week. Today has been lighter, with only stretching and meditation first thing, and 20 laps of the pool later.

The truth is that I had two short spinning sessions, the last one on Thursday, along with some squat exercises at home in the evening. I think that because of these exercises, my leg muscles are killing me; it’s even difficult to get up and walk properly.

For some reason, squats cause me to suffer the next day, leaving me unable to walk properly, let alone bend down to pick something up from the floor.

I need to write and publish a blog post that I am always happy and proud of, make two journal entries, and keep everything well-maintained at a relaxed pace without rushing.

Teaching classes is very important to me because it pays my bills and supports Yasmin and her mother. However, when I’m not teaching, it allows me the freedom to do whatever I want or need, peacefully, without rushing or stress.

This is very good, even when I am working or carrying out some sort of duty or responsibility, it is done without rushing, which makes a huge difference for the work and for me.

Doing what you have to do under pressure is very different from performing the same task with ease, without the pressure of a specific situation.

I have come to believe that everybody in Brazil lives and works under pressure, in survival mode, and in a state of despair or desperation.

A typical example that can be applied to other areas of Brazilian society is that of people working in shops, such as clothing or shoe stores, in Brazil, who only earn commission; there is no basic minimum wage to ensure that, if they do not sell well or have a poor month, they can still cover their living costs or make ends meet.

Because of that, all shop assistants pounce on you when you enter the store, as they are desperate to sell; otherwise, how will they pay their bills to survive?

A doctor in Brazil has at least four, five, or even six jobs, unlike a doctor in England who would typically have one or at most two.

When I was in England, I noticed that people were not desperate; there was no sense of desperation in the air like what we experience in Brazil. If they have a job, that’s great, and if they lose it, no worries, the government will help somehow. There is no form of desperation, stressing over bills, making ends meet, and surviving.

In Brazil, the government claims it wants to help, but in reality, the opposite is true; they seek to harm and belittle you from all angles, aiming to make you dependent on the state so they can dominate you. Metaphorically, they want to stamp on your neck while you’re down.

I don’t believe any government genuinely cares about its people anymore, and because of that, it’s quite sad. However, in Brazil, it reaches an extreme point that is quite perverse, to say the least. It’s a bit like they steal your car or motorbike, then call you later to say they have it and will sell it back to you at a good price!

How crazy is that!

In the afternoon, I enjoyed a pleasant hour or two at Guaribira’s Bar in Santo Cristo. There was a barbecue, and the place was bustling with people. I had never seen it so crowded. I’m happy for him!

I had to sit on the stairs because there were no seats. I met some people, had a few beers, and then went home. It was a good, simple, and nice Saturday.

In bed by 10 p.m.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.

Richard

Photos by Richard George Photography

The post Saturday, the 18th of October 2025: “One of Brazil’s Hard Realities”!!! first appeared on The Long Gringo.

Happy New Year. In Brazil, it is a new year, the first Monday after Carnaval.

In theory, Brazil should roll like a heavy steam engine, seeking enough inertia from its first push of power from the boiler to move forward and gain speed.

I have written many times on the blog that Brazil’s economy should traditionally take off, with production picking up after Carnival.

Brazil is a vast country, the 5th largest in the world, with almost 220 million people.

That is a lot of people and a large market if a company knows how to tap into it, and if the country’s economy is strong and buoyant. If everybody has money and wants to spend their disposable income, it is burning a hole in their pockets and bank accounts.

Sadly, for a long time, this has not been the case in Brazil, if not ever. The majority of the population is lower-middle class or poor, with some even extremely poor. At the same time, only a small percentage is middle-class, and a minute percentage is upper-class or wealthy.

The only real reason a company would want to invest in Brazil is its large population, and, economically speaking, that is a contradiction.

Poverty and unemployment are rising, and the middle class is getting poorer and poorer. Brazil was slowly on the road to recovery and improvement under the last government under Bolsonaro as president. Still, with this re-elected left-wing socialist-communist government that does not know how to control public expenditure, inflation is rising, and growth is declining.

The upcoming presidential elections are scheduled for September and October 2026. If Lula’s government wins and secures re-election, then Brazil is effectively digging its own grave. Endemic corruption, the misappropriation of public funds, and the government’s disregard for the people are driving the final nails into its coffin.

Lula is a know-it-all, and his inflated ego makes him believe he is the be-all and end-all of politics and running Brazil. I see a power-hungry little boy in an old body who does not know when to give up or stop.

Since his government began, the administrative and international errors in managing Brazil have been endless. Every day, there is a new foolish act, mainly committed by him but also by his recently married wife and his team.

Besides the 220 million people who are suffering and enslaved by one man’s ego, which is perfectly clear to me and many others, it is also obvious that in his third government he relies on and trusts the same incompetent, poorly prepared, and corrupt politicians from his previous terms, which were marred by scandals, problems, and embarrassment.

One of his trusted right-hand henchmen was caught smuggling thousands of dollars hidden in his underwear during an international flight out of Brazil. Shockingly, that same disgraceful, hypocritical politician has now returned as the head of Lula’s government in the Brazilian Congress.

How crazy is that?

How stupid is that?

How disgraceful is that?

How can a country the size and potential of Brazil, with so much going for it, including its good, hardworking people and its unlimited natural resources, some of which are still not properly tapped, be in such a shameful and disgusting situation?

I have been in Brazil for over 35 years, and I love the country and its people. However, I am deeply disappointed with it. I thought it would realise its true potential, at least in part, during my lifetime, but I no longer believe that is possible.

Brazil is like the stripper girlfriend you love so much. She is attractive in a rough way, the sex is excellent, but you can never take her home to meet your parents!

In bed by 9 p.m.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.

Richard

Photos by Richard George Photography

The post Monday, the 10th of March 2025: “Brazil: My Stripper Girlfriend”!!! first appeared on The Long Gringo.

It is the middle of the week, the middle of the month and the middle of the year, and I feel I am at a turning point in my life.

Obviously, I know what has passed, where I am, but more importantly, where and what I want in the future, and for sure, more importantly again, what I do not want:

• I want financial freedom to do and go wherever I want without worrying about money.

• I obviously want my daughters to be happy, but that also depends more on them than on me. If they need my help, I will be there for them.

• I want peace, preferably living alone, so I can go to bed and get up when I want, not because of anyone else. If I am living with a woman, only if it is mutually beneficial for both of us, not just for the other, because that would be abusive.

• I want to continue working but not be a slave to it.

• I want to invest more and more in myself, in my own time and at my own pace, without having to explain to others, especially those closest to me.

• I want to have a tiny house in the middle of a woodland with no neighbours, but with a few dogs.

• I would like to have a partner, a woman, who, besides good sex that pleases both of us, is also a spiritual journey between us of understanding and complicity.

• I want to be happy and to have happy, positive people around me who value each other’s friendship and who share a sense of complicity between us all.

• I do not want to be with a toxic and abusive person who does not know how to deal with her own traumas, who consequently spills and spits her internal problems onto the people around me and me.

• I do not want to be a slave to my work, where it affects my inner peace and leaves me without time or the ability to contemplate, think, or be creative.

• I do not want to be unhappy, frustrated, or overthinking the past. I do not want to ruminate on what could and couldn’t have been or happened. I want to be free of the chains of the past to live my short future in peace.

• I do not want to worry about money.

• I do not want to live for someone else’s life; only for my own, if it is mutually proactive and positive for both.

I think that is about it!!!

The rest of the day was productive as usual, with a good exercise session early in the morning, classes, blog prep and post, and Alex working on the monetisation of the blog.

In bed by 10p.m.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.

Richard

Photos by Richard George Photography

The post Wednesday, the 17th of July 2024: “A Mid-Year Turning Point”!!! first appeared on The Long Gringo.

Half the month has passed, and I have already been in Rio for more than a month. I arrived on the 7th of June, Yasmin’s birthday, and it is already past the middle of July.

Time literally flies. Sometimes we think it is slow, but really it is quite fast, and it doesn’t stop for anyone. In the blink of an eye, you are 30, 40, 50, 60 years old and almost dead, if you have not already died.

This morning, I had a bit of a shock. I was without internet because Nalva had not paid the bill, and without internet, I cannot work. Without work, I do not receive money, and without money, I cannot pay Nalva’s bills or rent.

I know I have already paid her this month much more than I should have, but I do it to keep the peace. And that peace is another thing that seems elusive in this flat at the moment.

Without peace, we can’t do anything.

I sent Nalva a message asking whether she had paid. She replied that she would pay in two days, when she received the second part of her salary. However, I had already given her the money to pay. Where did the money go? I transferred some more money to her account. She paid the bill, called the company, and the Internet was back shortly after.

But why accumulate bills if you have the money to pay them?

It is better to get them out of the way. Done and paid, we pay them. Besides paying interest for paying late after the right time, anything done right, including paying a bill on time, reduces unnecessary stress, and anything that reduces stress is excellent.

I could not exercise today because I have an early class. However, I did a hard workout yesterday, and I will for sure do one tomorrow. I prepped a blog post, taught classes, bought crypto, and journaled. The cherry on the cake for today was paying Dona Vera, my favourite optician, for my new glasses and picking them up from her shop.

I knew when I came back to Rio that I would buy a new pair of glasses from her. I do not like collecting anything because it can be seen as an obsessive trait and nature. But it is a pleasure to buy glasses from her.

• She’s competitively priced.

• It is a pleasure to buy from her.

• She is willing to facilitate the payment.

• She provides excellent service.

• She is a lovely person. If you live in Rio, in the South Zone, and more specifically in Copacabana, I suggest you go and buy glasses from her. It is an experience in itself, and you won’t go wrong.

I picked up my new glasses. They are perfect, with a light green frame and a transition blue tint for when walking in the street with the sun. Something I had noticed when I was in England was that, nearly always, when I was in the street during the day, my glasses would be in dark transition mode, even when it was overcast.

What I noticed was that the sun is much lower in the sky there, so it is always in your face, whereas in Brazil it is much higher, so it is above you but not in your face, as in England.

I gave a class to Dona Vera, my pupil, another Vera in my life, not the optician Vera. At the moment, there are a lot of Veras in my life, most importantly Dona Vera, who I buy glasses from, and Dona Vera, who I give classes to.

The day has been good and productive. This is the week when, hopefully, my blog will be monetised, so let’s see how the week ends. So far, it has been going very well.

I feel alive, especially with my new beautiful glasses.

In bed by 11p.m.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.

Richard

Photos by Richard George Photography

The post Tuesday, the 16th of July 2024: “Productive Tuesday”!!! first appeared on The Long Gringo.

At the moment, I am loving Mondays for a few reasons.

Principally, because I do not have an early class, I have the first part of the morning to myself to exercise without rushing, usually a walk, skipping, TRX straps and elastic, besides the usual aerobic exercises.

It is good for the body, soul and mind, especially in Rio and where I am living at the moment. The sun and the weather are usually perfect 90% of the time, the sea is beautiful, the parks and mountains are green, and there are always beautiful people working out on the beach, thanks to the small beach gyms and schools.

The only reason not to work out and exercise in Rio is that either you work too much and don’t have time, or you are lazy.

After a good workout, when I arrive home, I can set my priorities and goals for the week so that I have clear, important, definite goals to work towards. I have clear goals and objectives so that if they are met during the week, more than one thing or things have been accomplished, and if not, I’m still on it until it has been done.

This week is crucial because it’s when the blog should be monetised.

Alex is working on it. There have been some difficulties, and they are being resolved, so hopefully this will be the week I have my blog, ‘the long gringo’, monetised by Google. If it isn’t this week, we will still be on it next week until it is done.

I had a meeting with Alex today. I like him, and so far I trust him and his capacity. If everything goes well and according to plan, we will do a lot of work together in the future.

I also enjoy my Mondays because in the morning, there is only me at home, so that I can give the flat a thorough clean. At least for a man, it will probably never reach a woman’s level, but it is good enough to start the week well, with everything in its place, clean and organised, and it is always a good omen for the week ahead.

So what is the winning combination I like so much for a Monday? Exercise and health, goal-setting and organisation to start the week well. You can’t get much better than that.

In bed by 10 p.m.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.

Richard

Photos by Richard George Photography

The post Monday, the 15th of July 2024: “Good Mondays”!!! first appeared on The Long Gringo.

It is Sunday, and I always like to say that Sunday morning is reserved solely for me.

Nobody knows my name. It is not Dad, Richard, love, etc. Nobody can call me or ask me to do anything. It is my time, and it is good. It is a boundary where I am usually available to everyone else, but on Sunday morning, it is reserved for me alone. And because of that, I have reserved some quality time with myself, which is very good.

And even better than that is to do one of the things I most like doing in Rio: walking around Urca. Since I have been back in Rio, I haven’t had a walk around Urca until now. I went to the Yacht Club for lunch.

The Yacht Club is at the beginning of Urca, but I didn’t go for a walk inside the neighbourhood and have a drink on the Mureta, the wall in front of the Bay, as I had done so many times in the past.

So I got up early. I did not do any exercise. I washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen from the night before. I was too tired, and it was too late to do it last night. I do not like leaving the kitchen a mess overnight. It is bad energy, and when I do, I do it immediately before anything else the next morning. I had a shower, put on some clothes, obviously, and left.

Yasmin and Nalva were asleep, and I was off. I went to the Portuguese baker’s to get a coffee to take and drink while walking. I love drinking something while I’m walking. For me, it is a simple pleasure of life.

I crossed Aterro, the dual carriageway in front of the Bay that connects the South Zone of Rio with the city centre. So now I’m walking along in front of Botafogo Beach, heading toward Urca. In front of me is Sugarloaf Mountain, and behind me is Flamengo.

Walking up to Urca, I passed the Yacht Club entrance instead of continuing up to Praia Vermelha (Red Beach), where Sugarloaf Mountain is. I bore left into the heart of Urca, where you have the Mureta wall in front of the Bay that runs from the beginning to the end of Urca, where there are the army barracks and the famous bar Barurca.

I passed by Urca Grill at the beginning and bought a glass of wine to drink while walking towards Baruca at the far end. Many people are walking, following the Mureta in both directions, including couples with dogs, old and young, etc. The day is beautiful, the sun is shining, and it is not too hot. The water of the Bay has that beautiful shimmering effect from the sunlight, which is quite divine.

Arriving at Barurca, the final stop at the end of the Mureta, I noticed what I had seen at Urca Grill: there were fewer people at the bars and restaurants than in the past. Traditionally, on a Sunday, both these places would be completely packed, and it would be a fight to get a drink quickly.

Now, at prime time on a Sunday, I could walk in and, in a few seconds, be attended to and on the Mureta, which would be difficult to find a good place to sit; it was now easy. What is happening?

People do not have money; they do not have the disposable income they had before, not even enough for a simple beer. Lula’s government is destroying Brazil and its economy through excessive taxation and robbery. The only thing they have not taxed yet is the air we breathe, and that will probably be taxed very soon.

It is clear to me that, over the seven months I was in England, Brazil has worsened, and consequently, Brazilians are poorer. The streets are dirtier, and people are poorer. I do not believe it will improve; it will only get worse.

It is reaching the point where it is no longer favourable to live or work in Brazil. I am fortunate to have the option to leave, but for others, or for most, I see a kind of unofficial, covert slavery. The majority of the population does not have the choice to go, either because of financial, family or cultural constraints.

They are trapped in a sadistic stronghold where, at the end of the day, you are living to support a perverse, false, corrupt government run by psychopaths who are not accountable for their actions. It is very sad because Brazilian people are very good people.

All they need is a good, decent, honest leader, and the country would be on the right road to peace and prosperity.

Walking along the Mureta and the Bay brought back many happy memories of time spent in Urca. I am very privileged and grateful to have had these times, but now my priority is more towards the canals of England.

I had a glass of wine from Barurca and sat on Mureta in front, watching the movement of the Bay, the boats coming and going from the Yacht club, and another glass of wine from Urca Grill on my way home.

When I arrived home, we had a late lunch. I worked a little and rested in the afternoon. I’m happy to have had such a nice day, doing something I had done many times before that gives me pleasure, and to do it alone.

Solitude and time alone are excellent, and time with a loved one is even better. Being with people you love is always good, but alone time is also very precious.

I suggest you try it sometime!

In bed by 10 p.m.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.

Richard

Photos by Richard George Photography

The post Sunday, the 14th of July 2024: “Quality Alone Time Through Urca”!!! first appeared on The Long Gringo.

It has been 2 days since I went no contact with Julie. I feel guilty, but I also think it had to be done.

I am not proud of it, but I felt I needed a break, and the constant sense of being manipulated was too much. I thought it was beginning to affect the core of who I am and my mental health. It sounds dramatic, but the problem is the toxicity and the cost to yourself; respect is not.

I am starting to look back, gaining a perspective outside the fishbowl. Now I can see many details, situations, and things that happened that were oblivious to me at the time, even though I felt that something was wrong, but could not specifically put my finger on it, understand it, or spot it as clearly as I think I am now.

I am angry with myself for letting it reach such a point. How could I let myself get so involved, receiving so little? We had not gone to bed yet, so in a way it is a kind of blessing in disguise.

When thinking about it in this way, it gives a perspective that, to the normal person, without consummating the relationship, it could not have been so intense, but it was. It was enebriating. I became intoxicated by the situation and by what I was living, not by the actual person.

Again, I ask myself how I could have let myself down so easily. The most straightforward answer is that it can happen to anyone. I have repeated this many times on this blog: the importance of setting boundaries.

I think I had, in some ways and forms, and maybe if I had not been indirectly conscious, the damage could have been much worse. If I were completely and madly in love, I would be truly at fault, but what I truly feel is that I should not have got involved with the wrong person.

My intuition told me to walk away after the first date. I had seen the signs, tried superficially, but I gave in to my instincts.

That night we went to see Dune 2 at the cinema, which was a bit of a disaster for me. It was cold, clinical, a detached meeting. The next day, I felt disappointed about the night before and called her to say that maybe it would be better to be just friends. She insisted on continuing, and I gave in to her insistence, and now I’m paying the price.

I have said this many times, and I’m repeating myself about the same error: not listening to my intuition. Every time I do not listen to my intuition, I fuck myself. It happened in the past and has happened again now, and I am stupid for letting it happen.

At least I am old enough to see what has happened and try not to repeat it in future. We have to be humble enough to recognise our mistakes and learn from them. If not, we are stupid. These recurring mistakes are more than this. They are patterns, and that’s not just a one-off.

A pattern is something repetitive. With any psychological or behavioural pattern, we have to be intelligent and humble enough to see it, read it, and learn from it. Otherwise, it will be like a dog running in circles, chasing its own tail, which isn’t very intelligent.

We must see what our patterns are, accept them as a kind of weakness or something that needs attention, and work against them to improve; it’s not rocket science.

In bed by 11p.m.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.

Richard

Photos by Richard George Photography

The post Wednesday, the 10th of July 2024: “Breaking Free and Recognising Patterns”!!! first appeared on The Long Gringo.