Finding Balance | Life, Family and Home

Journalled on Friday, 7 July 2023 | Flamengo, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil: 26 degrees, warm and sunny.

As mentioned, I typically arrive on Fridays, and I prefer not to have a packed schedule.

I need time to relax and switch off after a long week of classes. Sometimes I have to give a class to Marcelo, a top bankruptcy lawyer, on Friday evenings, but luckily I gave him that class yesterday.

So, in theory, I can finish all my classes by three or four o’clock today. In the morning, before giving classes, I walked without exercising; I have slowed down a little with exercise because it is a half-term at the schools, and July, etc., is a lazy or slow month for education in Brazil.

However, I don’t want to be too influenced by this feeling of laziness; life is a sine wave with ups and downs. When we are in a trough, it is important to find a way to propel ourselves out of it and back to a peak. I realise this may not be ideal, but I have decided to return to exercising daily tomorrow.

A long walk in the morning, a coffee at the baker’s, and classes until 4 p.m. From four to five is time to chill out, then do the housework before Nalva arrives around seven p.m.

The flat is small. Still, it is always good to wash the dishes, clean the kitchen, sweep and wipe the wooden floor with a damp cloth, and generally put everything in its rightful place.

When my flat is nice and my living environment is tidy, I feel good. I have no problem whatsoever doing housework. For me, it is a form of therapy, especially when I am listening to music while doing it.

Housework is so important to us and to the people who live with us. It is also gratifying to see the results of our labour, to stop and see how nice and tidy everything is; it is good.

I think I inherited this from my mother, who was a housewife her entire life. I have always seen her as a slave to keeping the house perfectly tidy 24/7. I am not as obsessed with keeping everything in order as she is. Still, I believe living in an orderly environment for you and your family is friendly, positive, pleasant, and undoubtedly gratifying.

No one’s life flourishes when their home is a mess. If you cannot organise and manage your home well, how will you progress further in life outside your home?

Your first sense of discipline and commitment starts at home. Home is the foundation on which everything is built in our lives, for ourselves and our families. If your home is untidy, dirty, or disorganised, then the foundation of your life and its future will not be strong, solid, or robust.

We all know that anything built on weak foundations can easily fall with the slightest of conditions; remember the three little pigs?

If our home is clean and organised, with everything in its place, we feel well-being and harmony for ourselves, our families, and our visitors. Everything outside your home should and will grow according to the positive energy you put into it, even before you leave your front door to go out into the world. The solid foundations you lay with an organised home carry over into all other aspects of your life.

The last time my mother was in Brazil, she stayed with us for almost a month and a half, mainly with Nalva and me and a little with Cibele and Jessica.

While I was taking my mother to the airport by taxi to return to England, she suddenly told me that Nalva didn’t know how to build a family or a home.

I was utterly shocked when she said this, so I asked her why. She explained that it was clear to her that Nalva did not know how to make a family and a home, and that it was not her fault, but her parents’.

Having so many children in the south of Bahia, fifteen in total, her parents were unable to teach Nalva and the other siblings the importance of building a home. My mother also said Nalva was slovenly; unfortunately, to a certain extent, it is true.

What matters to me in keeping the house clean and tidy doesn’t matter to her. From that day on, my impression of Nalva and what is essential for me in relation to her as my daughter’s mother changed.

I see her as unprepared and often relying on guidance and support. We can say that we all need guidance; we are always WINGING IT WITH THE CURVEBALLS THAT LIFE THROWS AT US. It is true, but some people need more than others, and to a selfish level!!!