Journalled on Monday, 24 July 2023 | Copacabana, Rio de Janeiro: 24 degrees, hot, sunny, and slightly overcast.

It is almost the end of the month. Yasmin will be on her school break until August 1st. It has already been a week, and it already feels like hell.

While teaching a class to a director of Electronuclear, a Brazilian state-owned company that specialises in nuclear power, he expressed the belief that adolescents always need to be occupied. If they are not busy or not given something meaningful to do, there is a risk that something wrong may happen, or they may engage in harmful activities or associate with the wrong people.

I think, in many ways, he was right, and Yasmin worries me.

When she was very young, I paid for her to take part in extra sports activities after normal school hours. Eventually, she would lose interest and give up. Just before the holidays began, I suggested that she walk for an hour every day. This suggestion caused a significant strain in our relationship.

Instead of understanding my intentions, she did the opposite, using her upcoming holiday break as an excuse to avoid the activity. She claimed she needed to rest and had the right to do nothing during her mid-year holiday. I had proposed this two weeks before the holidays, so there was already tension at home.

She became sarcastic and dismissive of me, paying attention to me only in extreme situations.

One hour of walking every day during her holidays. Am I asking too much of her? I remember when I was a child or even a teenager. I literally only went home to eat, sleep, and use the bathroom. I would either be with friends or by myself, but always outside, in the open air or on the street.

Yasmin started her holiday last week. She wakes up between 11:30 and 12:30, has breakfast between 12:30 and 1:30, and then reluctantly goes out for a walk, looking as if she has lost an arm or a leg.

When she comes back, she lies down, rests, scrolls on social media, or draws on her tablet, but always in the dark. This habit of spending the rest of the day with the curtains closed in the dark really upsets me as a father. For me, this is a recipe for depression.

What also drives me crazy is that I’m trying to help her and give her direction in her life, especially at this sensitive and decisive age, yet I am being seen as the villain who is forcing her to do things against her will.

I feel my daughter is going in the wrong direction, and there is nothing I can do. I want to help her and to see her achieve her full potential in whatever she chooses in life. The only thing I do not want to do is nothing.

Lately, I have noticed that my daughter is unwilling to help with household chores. I have tried to persuade, explain, and even tell her what to do, but it has been difficult. Maybe I have not been communicating with her effectively.

In the past few days, I have even shouted out of frustration. It is frustrating to see my daughter pushing me away instead of us growing closer, especially when I want to help her, guide her, and help her become a better person for a better future.

Life in Brazil is challenging, especially when compared with more developed countries.

The younger generation in Brazil may not be adequately prepared for the difficulties they will face. There is a prevailing sense of mediocrity in Brazil, where very few things are considered good, let alone exceptional. Merely being good is no longer sufficient in today’s competitive market.

I have tried, I am trying, and I will keep trying. Sometimes, especially in a country like Brazil, when we try too hard, our goal or solution moves further away. When we stop trying, suddenly everything falls into place. At this moment, I do not know exactly what to do; I am a little lost as a father.

I think it is better to stay quiet for a while to see what will happen. I love my daughter and want the best for her, but if she does not want to see what I am trying to do for her, what can I do?

Monday, I had a tough morning workout followed by classes, making for a long day of contemplating my next steps.