Just another Saturday, but not quite. Nowadays, I love my weekends.

The feeling of not having to teach on the weekend gives me a sense of freedom I don’t have during the week. Don’t get me wrong, I like teaching and the pupils I have, but the obligation to sell my time, after so long, sometimes hurts my soul.

I still have to do my other duties, such as blogging, journaling, and, if possible or necessary, video editing. Still, these are my own choices, not necessities or a hard, unwavering obligation. There are times when I don’t feel like doing them, but I do them because they are essential to me. I want to do them, and I have a choice, but during the week, I don’t have that choice with classes.

Today I have done a lot of exercise, including a 10K walk, a swim of 30 lengths, ab wheel exercises, meditation, stretching, some aerobic exercises and Tai chi, and it is all good. On the way back from the walk, I stopped by Guarabira’s bar for a 0% beer. I drank two there and the third on my way home.

What has been difficult today is that my supposed partner did not send me a ‘good morning’ until after I had to sent one. It sounds petty, and in a way it is, but it also shows, to me, that a relationship has to be 50/50, a two-way street with both parties equally participating.

There has always been an issue between us about exchanging good mornings first thing, especially when I came back to Brazil. I noticed that she would only send me a good morning after I had sent one, even though she gets up before me because of the time difference.

England is 3, sometimes 4, hours ahead of Brazil. It would be appropriate for her to send me one as soon as she gets up, since she clearly expects the same from me here in Brazil, just later.

As I had noticed that it was a little like this and, in my interpretation, one-sided, I told her about it. Even so, nothing changed, completely ignorant of the situation.

This wouldn’t be a problem if she didn’t expect a proper good morning from me every day, just as she does with many other things she wants from me but doesn’t reciprocate or expect from herself. For me, this is the heart of the issue.

I have tried to make excuses for her and to convince myself that it is not important, but I have noticed that it affects my peace and mental health. Because of this situation, my personal balance goes crazy, leaving me feeling tired. It seems unnatural; it’s always heavy, and it shouldn’t be.

I have tried to talk to her about this, but ultimately, if it were a healthy relationship, there wouldn’t be this kind of issue, conversation, stress, and disappointment. Everything I am saying now shouldn’t be necessary in a healthy, good, and positive relationship.

This morning, I woke up to no good morning. OK, no problem, but I sent her a “good morning,” and then she sent me one with an embarrassed emoji, which suggests she was trying to make me look stupid and provoke. More importantly, I have noticed a pattern of her not wanting to voluntarily please and be kind; it is just for her to receive.

Just being friendly and kind, knowing what your partner likes, and doing something to please them is so good and special, and it pays off for both of you and your relationship in the future.

When I was in England, we did not get intimate. When she came to Brazil to visit me, she never once cooked for me. I asked her to cook for me just once, as cooking for someone is a form of affection, but she couldn’t. There was always an excuse.

Now we are apart, I in Brazil and she in England. She’s incapable of sending a good morning. As I said, it’s not just about me wanting something to feed my ego. More importantly, I don’t want to be in another relationship where I’m giving and giving and giving and not receiving. It has to be a balance, but my intuition keeps shouting at me that it’s not.

Saying good morning, especially to a loved one or someone special in your life, is really very nice.

I also like to naturally say good morning to people in the street, such as policemen, workers, and street cleaners. For me, this is a pleasure and a form of respect for them and their work, but it also has a subtle kindness to it that people may recognise, though it’s not so clear.

Saying good morning to someone is very nice. I think it’s even more special than saying “good afternoon” or “good evening”. They’re all very nice, but good morning is especially special. Maybe it’s because it’s the morning, the beginning of the day, and we have the whole unknown day ahead.

When we greet someone with “good morning,” we acknowledge that we are alive and embracing a new day, and we wish them well for that day ahead.

Maybe I’m looking too much into it, but I do take great pleasure in wishing people I know, or only know by sight, a good morning. It makes me feel good to do so, and to receive a sincere “good morning,” especially from a loved one, feels very good.

Since this morning, we haven’t spoken, and this game has been going on for a long time. I am tired. I think it’s time to walk away. The universe is showing me what I have to do. If I don’t, I’m stupid and maybe deserve to suffer. And that makes me a c#nt.

Be kind and be happy, and if you can’t be happy, still be kind, but not naïve!

In bed by 10 p.m.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.

Richard

Photos by Richard George Photography

The post The Weight of a Sincere ‘Good Morning’ first appeared on The Long Gringo.

It is still early in the week, but it looks like Wednesday evening or Thursday. This month, I reorganised my finances by renegotiating my class fees with my pupils.

It has been exactly a year since I last increased my fees, but other factors make it difficult to do so again. I depend on these fees to pay my bills, but, more importantly, to support my ex-wife. My ex-wife, or more specifically, Yasmin’s mother, is a simple person who earns a low salary as a cook.

When we were married, I tried to encourage her to study, but she never showed interest until now. Now that we have been separated for almost six years, she is beginning to take an interest in her studies and profession, and I am happy for her.

However, because she earns a low salary and I pay the rent for her and Yasmin to live in Rio’s South Zone, it would be impossible for them to live there on her salary alone. I pay so that Yasmin has a reasonable to good standard of living in the South Zone of Rio.

Because I have this monthly financial obligation, losing any pupil at any time weighs heavily on my budget. I’m concerned about approaching my pupils to adjust the fees.

Losing my pupils could devastate my accounts at any moment. Besides that, living in Brazil feels like constant insecurity. I have been living in Brazil for almost 34 years, and there are constant political scandals, corruption, and imbalances. I have concluded that Brazilian politicians intentionally create conflicts among themselves to control the population.

They do this by continuously presenting one scandal after another. Instead of focusing on resolving issues that would improve people’s lives and advance the country, they prefer to create an atmosphere of chaos and unrest.

This approach destroys any sense of balance, justice, and serenity in Brazil, so nothing positive can grow in such an environment. The population has become a hostage to the situation that the politicians have created, leading to a society of injustice and complete inequality.

Therefore, when I approach my pupils to discuss increasing class fees, it is hard for them to accept an increase when there is no peace in the country. While many things are devalued in Brazil, education is one of them, especially English.

Sometimes, some pupils pay with a certain air of arrogance, insinuating that they are doing me a favour and that I should be thankful for the little money I receive.

Like most countries around the world, Brazil also has a phenomenon of influence, whether positive or negative, that starts at the top and trickles down to other social classes. When the president and his circle believe they are superior and can do whatever they want, as in Brazil, other social classes tend to adopt the same attitude. I have frequently observed this behaviour among the Brazilian middle class, particularly among civil servants.

As I have grown older, I have become less tolerant of people who show disrespect or don’t appreciate the quality of my teaching services. Over the past six months, I have removed certain pupils from my schedule when I feel they are not a good fit for my time and effort.

This includes students who don’t value my classes and who may feel they are doing me a favour by paying for my services. In some cases, it may be a combination of both. I’m choosing to focus on students who are genuinely interested in learning and appreciate my expertise.

It is pretty amusing when a teacher politely and cordially decides to stop teaching a particular pupil or person. The sudden change can make it feel as if their world has just crumbled beneath them.

As I mentioned before, I am exhausted and no longer have the patience to deal with the toxicity. In situations like this, it’s crucial to set boundaries and maintain self-respect.

I wrote this diary entry at the end of the month, and it has motivated me to resolve my pending financial issues. Since April is my birthday month, I deserve to address these issues as a gift to myself. Starting my new year with a little more money will be really helpful.

I am tired of being poor and broke in Brazil. It must stop now.

In bed by 9:30 pm.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading my blog. Check out my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments.

Richard

Photos by Richard George Photography

The post Financial Struggles and Self-Respect in Brazil first appeared on The Long Gringo.

It is the second day of autumn, and it is even warmer. Today’s temperature peaked at 34 degrees. When it is too hot, we feel lethargic and don’t want to do anything.

I currently weigh between 95 and 96 kilos and hope to reach ninety-two before I travel. It has taken me a year to lose around 8-10 kilos, though I am not entirely sure of the exact amount. Of the weight I lost, I have gained 2-3 kilos of muscle, so I think I have lost about 12 kilos of fat.

When I was married to Nalva, I weighed 106 kilos. I was seriously overweight, unhappy, and had low self-esteem. However, when we eventually separated and I moved out, even though it was still stressful, I managed to lose a considerable amount of weight.

I went from 106 kilos down to ninety-two in just 8 to 9 months.

I did this by exercising every day and intermittent fasting. I avoid eating after 7 or 8 p.m. and only eat again after midday or 1 p.m. the next day. It was easier for me when I had the school because I would give classes directly from 8 a.m. until 1 or 2 p.m.

Because I was always busy teaching classes, I didn’t have time to eat or even think about it. Now that I work from home, the temptation to snack is greater because I have a fridge full of food in the kitchen.

Self-discipline and restraint are essential in maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

I make it a point, at a minimum, not to eat anything until after 11 a.m. This, combined with my regular exercise routine, has worked well for me and supports my overall well-being.

Sometimes, in the evening, I feel an enormous craving to eat something. If there is anything in the fridge, it is hard to resist. If Yasmin isn’t with me, I keep only the essentials in the fridge.

This way, I am not tempted to overindulge; little is available if I do feel the urge. Therefore, I must accept that sometimes I have to go without and that it will not cause any harm if I do not satisfy a craving at the end of the night.

We are discussing the importance of self-discipline, self-control, and re-educating our minds. I think moderation is key, especially when it comes to our eating habits.

• It takes a lot of discipline to follow a specific diet, even though we know it is good for us and we will reap the rewards.

• Let us exercise control to avoid giving in to temptation and failing to reap our rewards.

• We must re-educate our minds so that, eventually, we condition ourselves to healthier diets and routines, so we are not desperate and don’t spoil everything.

• Moderation means we can enjoy the things we like, but not to excess. Instead of devouring a whole pizza, we could limit ourselves to half. Instead of walking twenty kilometres, we could walk ten kilometres. Instead of buying five articles of clothing, we could limit ourselves to just two. This is what moderation is all about – recognising that we do not need everything in excess.

If we detach from our basic needs and cravings, we become more independent and freer. We are no longer slaves to routines, bad habits, and obsessions that are slowly killing us. This newfound freedom allows us to live the life we truly desire.

Practising a selfless life, with its highs and lows, is a daily exercise, but it is worth it.

In bed by 9 p.m.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading my blog. Check out my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments.

Richard

Photos by Richard George Photography: Taken at an exhibition at CCBB, Rio de Janeiro

The post From Overweight to Healthy | Self-Discipline and Moderation first appeared on The Long Gringo.