Today I had a pleasant surprise. Jim, the Scottish owner of the more sophisticated cafe in Wordsley, sent me a message.

He is Julie’s boss, and over the months I was there, we began to build a kind of friendship. I like him, the cafe is very good, and I hope it will be a big success in the future. I gave a couple of tips while I was there. Now let’s see if he has put any of them into action.

Near where my mother lives, there are two cafes I went to regularly while I was in England. I made friends with the owners of both. The simpler of the two, ‘The Greedy Cow’, is a one-man band run by a gentle giant of a man named Luke.

Funnily enough, he texted me last week with photos of the newly refurbished cafe. Besides the cafe, Luke is a bit of a wheeler-dealer with cars, so he’s not just dependent on the cafe for a living. The greedy cow is located on the main high street, facing the village church.

Because there is no car park in front of him, only the churches’ on the opposite side of the road, I had always told him that his core business is delivering to local small businesses, etc.

Wordsley is in the Black Country, which was historically part of the Industrial Revolution. The area once had many large foundries, factories, and heavy industry. Many have been redeveloped into industrial parks, housing, and smaller businesses. Providing quick breakfast and lunch service to all these small businesses should be good, and now he seems to be gearing up his cafe for it.

And Jim, the Scottish owner of the more upmarket, sophisticated cafe of the two, situated in the main square and precinct of the village, with a car park directly in front of the establishment. Jim bought the business as a ready-to-go business interest in the middle of last year, and little by little, he has changed it into what it is today.

His message kindly told me that he had met my mother in the street and that she had informed him about the flight difficulties, cancellation, extra baggage charge, etc., that I had faced.

I promptly sent him back a message saying that it was a little stressful at the time, but it is what it is. I got there in time for Yasmin’s birthday, so I’m happy to be back in Rio, but at the same time, I’m missing Wordsley, his cafe, and Julie, too.

From regularly going to the two cafes, principally more Jim’s than Luke’s, I made many friends in a relatively short period of time while staying in England. Another observation was that, besides feeling that English people were so polite, they were also so friendly.

It was easy for me to meet and greet people in the street there. I do not know whether it is because of a bit of Brazilian influence, living in Rio and the carioca culture, where it is easy to talk to people in shops and on the streets, basically anywhere, because in Rio, it’s the way it is.

This culture has rubbed off on me, making it easier for me not to be shy about complimenting or making conversation with people on the street, as I was in Wordsley Village.

What I have also noticed is that because of my crazy accent, which is neither Black Country nor English, more of a broken English than anything else, from being so long out of England and my hometown, I consider myself more of an alien there than a native, very similar to how I am in Rio as a gringo.

A gringo who speaks Portuguese and its slang like a carioca, but still with a powerful accent, and still a gringo. For some, so many contrasts or contradictions are disconcerting, maybe here in Brazil and there in England too.

I received and responded to Jim’s message while I was in the park, exercising. I sent a photo of Sugarloaf, which is right in front of the park, on the other side of the Botafogo Bay cove. He replied to my message, saying it looked nice, that it was nice of him to reach out to me voluntarily, and that this was a sign of a nice person and possibly a good friend.

In bed by midnight

Thank you.

Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.

Richard

Photos by Richard George Photography

The post Wednesday, the 3rd of July 2024: “Wordsley’s Two Cafes”!!! first appeared on The Long Gringo.

Just a simple light exercise in the morning at the park. On the way back, I stopped by the Portuguese bakers and, while having two coffees, I wrote two journal entries. A good start to a Sunday. Nalva is working today, so it is just Yasmin and me.

Yesterday we tidied the desk, threw away a lot of items we no longer need, and reorganised the space. It is now a healthy, clean, and organised area for me to work and for Yasmin to study.

I made some coffee at home the old way by boiling water and pouring it through the filter with coffee. In Copacabana, I used a percolator; it was good, but doing it by hand is better. I filmed a part and sent the video to Jim, the owner of the café in England, and a copy to Julie, to provoke them.

I was planning to take Yasmin out for lunch, but instead of spending more money, which I have already spent a lot of this month and considering that restaurant food has increased significantly in the seven months I have been away; I looked in the fridge and realised I could make the kind of healthy, comfort food I used to prepare for her when I lived in Copacabana.

I miss having my own place where I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. Alternatively, I could stay in Rio and rent somewhere, or more likely, I would go back to England and rent a place near my mother. Renting a small place in England will be a bit more expensive than here.

The cost of living is quite high in England, with plenty of extra taxes and so on, and, of course, not forgetting the exchange rate, so I need everything set up correctly to earn in pounds. Earning in Brazilian Reais and paying my living expenses in British pounds will be quite challenging.

When I arrived in England at the end of November 2023, the exchange rate was 6.1 to 1, with 1 pound sterling equaling 6.1. Now, it is 7 Reais to 1 pound; the Real has devalued too much over the short period of six months, quite similar to the terrible, incompetent governments we currently have in Brazil.

Lula and his government are a shit, completely incompetent.

For Yasmin’s lunch, I prepared a kind of bruschetta base with toasted bread, topped with a salad and small pieces of lightly cooked medium-rare steak, garnished with an egg and a small portion of chips. The plate was seasoned with a little salt, pepper, olive oil, and balsamic vinegar, and I also placed a small dollop of mayonnaise to the side of the salad, in case she wanted. When Yasmin was small, she did not like black beans or mayonnaise, but now she enjoys both.

In the afternoon, the three of us—Yasmin, Perola, and I—went for a walk. Now that she is working, she will only be off tomorrow. He asked me tonight to talk more about what she had told me yesterday. I shared my opinions and points of view, assuring her that, in terms of love and support, nothing would change. She thanked me for it, and I told her that there was no need to thank me—just to be good, happy, and do her best in life.

However, I’m not feeling very confident right now. I lack a positive view of myself; I have many doubts about myself, my life, Julie, Brazil, and everything else at the moment. I realise that the shock of returning to Brazil has affected me deeply, but my situation, as it stands, has long been troubling me.

Even though my circumstances are much better than before, they still aren’t ideal. I am dissatisfied with them, and I know I need to keep making changes, more than I already have. We are all stuck on a never-ending hamster wheel; we can’t stop walking, running, or moving, and sometimes it feels like we’ve gained no ground, even though we have.

Julie and I have talked a lot; everything seems fine on the surface, but deep down, I am unhappy. It’s clearer to me that one reason I suddenly bought a ticket to Brazil was to distance myself from her somewhat.

While I was in England, I felt that I was not in a truly healthy relationship, possibly because I was living with my mother. She declared war simply because I had a girlfriend, but also because Julie’s situation was complicated, not entirely clear, and not just because she was going through a divorce.

I felt uncertain whether she genuinely wanted me as a partner or was willing to have me as one. In a way, I sensed I was just digging a deeper hole for myself, but I also don’t know if returning to Brazil was the right decision. It was what I did and what my intuition told me to do. Whether it was the best or the worst choice I made, only time will tell.

We are always roughing up our feathers to make changes, shedding the old ones to make space for the new ones to grow.

In bed by 11 p.m.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.

Richard

Photos by Richard George Photography

The post Sunday, the 16th of June 2024: “Uncertainty and Change”!!! first appeared on The Long Gringo.

It’s my first workday back in Rio. In England, it was four hours ahead of Brazil when I left, so I had the morning until 11 a.m. free to do what I wanted.

Usually, I exercised and journaled in the local café near my mother’s. Here in Brazil, it’s roughly the same, but much earlier. My first lesson starts at 7:00 AM, so it’s better to get up at 5, or even earlier, before 4:30 or 4:45, to allow at least an hour and a half for walking and outdoor exercise.

It’s nice to be back in Rio. I have mixed feelings; sharing with Nalva and Yasmin isn’t ideal, but it has to be until I decide exactly what I will do. I know I will return to England this year; I told Julie in July or August, let’s see, but I also don’t want to feel pressured.

What I do know is that I want my own place where I can go to bed whenever I want and have my own little office or workspace to work without any interruptions or interference. The question is, should I do it in Brazil, which at this moment seems highly unlikely, or go back to England, which may be more difficult at first but better in the long run.

Since I’ve been back, it is clear to me that people here are happier but not more polite. Familiar English people tend to be much more courteous and sometimes more talkative, but not as happy. It is related to the weather; the weather has a significant influence, both directly and indirectly, like culture.

I am feeling happier here in Rio; it is contagious, but at the same time, I am disappointed and frustrated. The reality of Brazil is very evident around me; I would have to be blind not to see how difficult it is at the moment.

I got up at 4:50 in the morning, had a quick wash, got dressed, and left for the park by 5:20. It was still dark; I was heading to probably the most important and iconic park in my life.

It is not large, relatively small, actually, with a tall stone wall surrounding its perimeter and offering views of the Bay and Sugar Loaf Mountain, where I used to take my boxers, the dogs, every day from 5:00 to 6:00 a.m., almost twenty years ago.

When I lived with Nalva and Yasmin before going to England, it was where I would go daily to work out and take Perola. This quaint little park has its ups and downs, where the local council sometimes neglects it and leaves it for a while with long grass, litter, and signs of abandonment, which is a significant issue in Brazil, especially politically.

Many times, Brazilian politicians know how to start something, set it up, and implement it. However, they do not necessarily know how to maintain it, keep it functioning, and manage it well so that it does not fall into disrepair. Which, in many cases, can be a great pity.

This is very common in public administration and projects, including existing ones that require maintenance—such as public parks, roads, streets, and infrastructure. The usual pattern is that suddenly, during an election, an elected politician appears, reforms or refurbishes what is needed, which is usually the minimum, and then showcases it for the next election as if they are doing us a favour.

Sometimes, what was good and proactive for the community from one politician is reversed, removed, or destroyed by the newly elected politician. It is a very selfish and thoughtless approach, but it is very common here in Brazil: cancelling what the previous politician did, even if it was beneficial for society.

Lula, since taking power a year and a half ago, has dismantled many positive initiatives and resources from previous governments. He is at the top of the pyramid; as president, he occupies the highest point in society, from which influence flows down and affects all the other layers below. Again, it is pitiful, and this is why Brazil currently has no clear future to grasp hold of.

Nothing is planned; there is no medium- or long-term plan for the well-being of this country and its people, just rape, pillaging, and plundering, precisely the same as the Portuguese 500 years ago. Nothing has changed!

So, the day was spent tidying the flat, trying to put everything in its rightful place, which is tricky when your ex-wife is a bit of a hoarder.I don’t need to do everything in one go; little by little, I will start organising things and discreetly dispose of those Nalva doesn’t need and won’t notice right away.

I will eventually need to speak to her. I know it will do little good, but I must do it for both her and myself, and at least try to preserve my own sanity.

As I mentioned before, Brazil and Rio are happy, and it’s contagious, which I feel has already influenced my classes. Why and how do poor choices and compulsory voting oppress happy people?

A nice, productive day, the first day back.

In bed by 10:00 p.m.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.

Richard

Photos by Richard George Photography

The post Monday, the 10th of June 2024: “Getting Back into the Groove in Rio”!!! first appeared on The Long Gringo.

It’s midweek and the day before I travel back to Brazil.

I’m feeling strange, a bit anxious, wary of the unknown, and both happy and sad at the same time. I’ve sensed for some time that living with my mother is toxic, and I need to leave, take a break, and breathe a little.

I am also feeling the same or very similar to my relationship with Julie. In some ways, I am giving a lot and not receiving what I believe I deserve in return. Julie also needs time and space to resolve her issues, and I do too, to finalise some things in Brazil.

Returning to Brazil after seven months away and going back to Nalva’s flat, rather than my own place, feels strange, to say the least. It seems as if I am in no man’s land at the moment, with no fixed address, neither in England nor Brazil. However, I know this is temporary, so it’s acceptable for now. I believe in myself, and time will show me the right way to go.

I am up early, exercising, skipping, and elastic outside on the back patio, probably the last for some time. For my flight, my online check-in is done, some crypto bought, and extra baggage is paid for, almost £100. For me, it is a lot of money, but it had to be done.

It would be impossible to fit so much stuff, so many presents, into one suitcase, along with my clothes, etc. My handbag, a duffel bag I bought at Lidl supermarket, looks very good and will go on the plane with me as a carry-on. I will have my laptop, new camera, drone, journal, diary, and all the things I cannot afford to lose if, for some reason, the airline loses my checked luggage in my duffel bag.

My two suitcases are almost fully packed. My main suitcase, which is only medium-sized, not large, is filled with my clothes and personal items. The second suitcase contains mainly presents, more presents, and some personal items.

So, the paperwork is in order, and the taxi to the airport in England is booked. The taxi from the airport in Rio to the South zone has been arranged with a friend of mine in Rio. The suitcases and duffel bags are 90% packed; I will finish packing tomorrow morning before the lift to the airport.

It’s Wednesday, so Julie is working until 2:00 p.m. I have cancelled all my classes today because I have too much to do and need the right frame of mind. It is half past midday, and I am entering the café where Julie works with a bouquet I bought from the shop next door.

Julie is at her post behind the counter. I arrive at the side and give her the flowers. She’s a little embarrassed as everyone is watching; she kisses me on the mouth to thank me, and everything is fine, nobody has died. I find a table to sit at, then go back to the counter to buy my usual tea with limes. I lean forward to indicate I want another peck, and Julie smiles. She stretches, and we share the second kiss of the day, which I thought was nice.

I paid for my tea, returned to my table, and started writing. The tea has arrived, and with the limes, it’s as good as usual. I’m trying to catch up on my journal from a backlog of a few days; it’s difficult, but I’m making progress.

It is 1:30, and Julie decides that since the café is fairly quiet, she will ask Jim to leave 30 minutes earlier than usual. He gives her the okay, and we head to her car and eventually to the old Wharf.

Today is a bit chilly, but walking along the canal is always enjoyable for us. I believe it serves as a form of relaxation. For Julie, it feels like pure therapy, a stress-free time together. Despite the air of gloom and darkness surrounding us, as I will be leaving tomorrow, it’s still nice for us to spend this time together.

We nearly walked back to Wordsley along the canal, leaving the car behind us in Stourbridge. Obviously, we had to return, but throughout all this time, we kept talking, and Julie was always trying to find more reasons or explanations for my return to Brazil, and what it really is.

We went back to the car, and she dropped me off at home, knowing that in a few hours we would be back at the old Wharf Inn and pub for our farewell dinner.

The reservation was for 7:30, but we arrived at 7:20. Julie was dressed all in black: black boots, jeans, and blouse. She looked terrific, as she always does. I wore a long-sleeve black shirt, jeans, and a blazer, as I always do.

The pub was already busy for a Wednesday evening, and the waitress showed us to our table, next to the one where we had first sat. Our table wasn’t the best spot, Julie commented, and I told her it didn’t matter where we sat, as long as we were together, and that’s the truth of it.

Even though we were a little boxed in, but with good food, drinks, and our company and conversation, the time flew by, and we hardly noticed who was next to us. We were in our own little bubble, not observing what was really happening around us.

Julie ordered the traditional chicken and mushroom pie with mashed potatoes and broccoli, and I went for the bacon burger with roast potatoes. My plate was quite a lot of food; I was pigging it, but since it was my last night in England and with this beautiful woman in front of me, why not?

As soon as I arrive in Rio, I will burn it off. We had separate desserts: I had a hot fudge pudding with ice cream, and Julie had a tart with ice cream too; both were very good.

We got to discuss us, the future, and what needs to be done on both sides. It was good, sometimes a little uncomfortable, to speak the whole truth, but it was necessary. I was happy to be there with her, to spend our last night together, until the bill arrived.

In pounds, it was a bit expensive; in Brazilian Reais, it was a kidney. I had to sell my left kidney for the second time, and then we left. I am a walking enigma to modern medical science.

It has been a mixed night with good food, company, conversation, our feelings on our cuffs, and a touch of melancholy that should be worthwhile in the near future. When we returned to the car, we stayed there listening to music and kissing for almost an hour. The perfect ending to an exceptional night, even though it was the last for some time.

Thank you, Julie!

Tomorrow Brazil.

In bed by 1:00 p.m.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.

Richard

Photos by Richard George Photography

The post Wednesday, the 5th of June 2024: “Our Farewell”!!! first appeared on The Long Gringo.

It is Saturday, and I am with mixed feelings. I think both Julie and I are with mixed feelings; only time will tell, sort it out, and show what is really right or wrong.

My inheritance from my uncle, most of which I transferred into crypto gradually over the last three months or so. Out of the £10,000 that I received, peanuts to some, but a lot to me at the moment- £6000 has been invested in Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies.

Besides Bitcoin, which is my main investment, I have been buying other coins since I started investing in crypto in September last year. I have diversified my portfolio or wallet with other coins, including some outside the main ones that could perform well in the future. For example, Stellar, a coin that you can buy for less than a dollar, imagine if, for some reason, it reaches $100 in the future.

I know this is optimistic, but crypto is the future.

I now have more than 40,000 Reais in crypto since I started investing in September last year, so I am quite pleased with myself for having saved this amount, planting seeds for the future and continuing to do so while back in Brazil. Also, thanks to my uncle’s small inheritance, I have been able to:

1. Pay off all my debts in Brazil: I have settled all of them at reduced amounts, so I am now free of any financial obligations other than Yasmin and Nalva, and my name and CPF are clean. If I want to start a business, or have credit of some sort in Brazil, rent a flat, etc., my name is clean as a whistle.

2. Photography: I have been able to buy a semi-professional video camera intended for my YouTube channels. I haven’t used it yet; when I get back to Brazil, I will. I have also bought a DJI drone, again for footage, B rolls, etc., for my YouTube channels. Even though it’s the simplest in the range, it is still very good and a start.

3. A present for myself: I bought myself a Google Watch 2, which I love because it feels nice on the wrist, looks good, and tracks my walking, heart rate, sleep quality, etc., which I also enjoy.

4. Clothes: I have managed to buy some clothes for myself, nothing fancy, no designer labels or brands, just items to update my wardrobe: a turtleneck, a pair of Nike trainers (the cheapest on sale), some tracksuit bottoms for daily wear and exercise, and some underwear. That’s all. As a man gets older, I have noticed that he tends to care less about these things, less vain, and I suppose that’s becoming true for me too.

5. Presents: I had bought some presents for Yasmin before meeting Julie, and since I had bought the flight ticket, a ton of presents for everyone else.

5. Cashflow: While I have been here, not worrying about money has been a relief. Dating is expensive; however, Julie is not demanding in her needs, but we do go out at the weekends. I have been able to enjoy myself without financial worries, for which I am very grateful. This has been a weight off my shoulders. Not forgetting that I earn in Brazilian Reais, and while in England, I am paying for things that are seven times more expensive in sterling.

Returning to Brazil will help me replenish my resources, especially financially. In a couple of months, when I’m back in England, I expect things to improve. With Bitcoin’s halving in April and discussions with Nalva about her financial responsibilities, I plan to save more and build on what I have already planted. Nalva has been a financial Achilles Heel, as I’ve paid some of her debts here, but new ones always seem to come up, and this needs to stop.

I did not come to England to find a girlfriend, but I have. We get on well; I enjoy being with her and appreciate her company, but sometimes I feel something is missing in our relationship and that she is difficult to handle. Whether she’s too much hard work or not, only time will tell. She is going through a divorce, which I don’t think makes sense for her to move from one relationship to another, on the rebound, so quickly.

I have discussed my doubts with her, but she says she wants to be happy and likes me, so we will see. I am returning to spend some quality time away from my highly opinionated and toxic mother. It is terrible to admit, but it is the truth, and that Julie will have space to work through her issues related to her separation and divorce. Sometimes I feel I am just a distraction for her, and that she is using me for that. She denies it, but I feel it.

However, with all of this in my head, I am still incredibly grateful for my trip to England.

Julie had to work this Saturday morning, so we could only meet after 2:00 p.m. She came straight from work, so Austin wasn’t with us. The plan was to have lunch somewhere, and we ended up going to Kinver and the small cafe-restaurant we had visited twice before, and on the last occasion for breakfast.

When we arrived there, the cafe had an outdoor tender, a tarpaulin tent with tables and benches for people to eat and drink under. We tried to order food, but the Kitchen had just closed at 3:00 p.m., and it wouldn’t reopen until 6. We had coffees, cappuccinos to be precise, paid and then started to have a walk around the town.

We saw two young girls walking about 20 metres ahead of us along a small side street, as if they were headed to a park.

We followed them, and the street opened up at a kind of centre, a community sports centre and club. While Julie went to find the toilets, I wandered around the main building and, hidden at the back, came across a beautiful cricket field with cricketers preparing to play a match in their whites, which I thought was very endearing and English.

On the edge of the cricket green was a row of round tables with benches. I sat down and began to observe something quintessentially British and quite charming. Julie soon arrived, sat in front of me with her back against my chest, between my legs, as we watched the cricketers begin to play.

It is a lovely, sunny Saturday afternoon, but a little chilly. I covered Julie with my jumper as she was feeling the cold, and we watched a cricket game against the beautiful backdrop of the English countryside.

How wonderful is that?

We both got to relax so much during the moment of tranquillity. Julie also nodded off for a minute or two, and even though we did not speak to each other, it was not necessary; we were content just to enjoy the moment, taking it all in.

We stayed there for nearly two hours, but we were also hungry, so we reluctantly left and went back to the café where we had been earlier. We found a table and bench outside, beneath and inside the tarpaulin tent cover, and discovered that the menu for Saturday nights is pizza. This standard medium-sized pizza is really just enough for each person.

Julie thought it would be better to share just one, but I was sure it wouldn’t be enough. This reminded me of Rio and Brazil, where pizza is very popular, especially in São Paulo, with its strong Italian culture and influence. Pele, the famous footballer, once said that the best pizza he had ever eaten was not in Naples, Italy, the origin of pizza, but in São Paulo, Brazil.

Julie chose a Caprese, and I had a classic Margarita. It was clear both were very well made with fresh ingredients, and they arrived piping hot, which is always important with pizza. They were very good; mine, in my opinion, should have had more basil for a Margarita, but they were good for pizzas made in England.

I drank a pint of lager and lime, and Julia a half. We ate our pizzas with both our hands, sometimes using a knife and fork while talking, laughing, and contemplating the past, the present, and the future in the early evening.

Even though it was 8 in the evening, it was still light, a lovely Saturday for my last weekend in England for quite some time. We eventually got back to the car, and within 20 or 30 minutes, Julie was dropping me off once again.

What a surreal, sublime, and special day. A beautifully quaint British town, with cricket, good food, and the company of a lovely and exceptional woman.

How good is that!!!

In bed by 11:00 p.m.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.

Richard

Photos by Richard George Photography

The post Saturday, the 1st of June 2024: “Reflecting On A Lot”!!! first appeared on The Long Gringo.

It’s the second day of the bank holiday in Brazil for Corpus Christi, and we still have the weekend ahead of us.

Yesterday, we visited Clint Hills and took a trip down memory lane. We also washed Austin in the automated self-service dog bath, which was a blast!

Today, Julie is working, and as usual on Friday, I went to the café on the green to get some work done. Today was no different. I took my laptop with the new cable. It takes a little longer to prepare and post a blog when I’m working in the café due to the distractions, but it is also good to meet the regulars, the local natives who like to chat and socialise.

I also managed to reserve a seat for my connecting flight from Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam to Rio. I booked the seat at the back of the plane, in the middle, but next to the aisle, so it should be fine. It is an extra cost, but you’re really paying for tranquillity, simplicity, and for no unpleasant surprises at check-in.

In the afternoon, Julie called me after finishing work, and we decided to pick up Austin and revisit Stewponey Wharf. Yesterday, we walked along one part of the canal; today, I wanted to explore the other sections that lead back to Wollaston and Wordsley, and that was exactly what we did.

It brought us back to the place where Julie and I had walked from Wordsley to the small, narrowboat yard, where I used to work as a child. If we wanted, we could keep walking and eventually reach home in Wordsley.

How cool is that?

The walk was pleasant, but not as stunning as yesterday when the vegetation and wildlife were denser. Today, it is semi-urban with many back gardens and farmland bordering and adjoining the canal.

Like all walks with Julie and Austin, it was all good. Back at the car, it was approaching late afternoon, early evening, so it was time to eat.

We decided to leave Austin at Julie’s parents’ home. The car too, and then went for a walk to the middle of Kingswinford, where we first went to our favourite pub of the area to have a drink, meet Grant the barman, who Julie loves, her favourite barman in the whole world, and we played some Gin Rummy.

Grant was there, a friendly young man who always welcomes us and is consistently helpful and obliging. I drank wine, and Julie had a Desperado long neck. We played cards, with the final score ending in a draw. The Market Hall Tavern is a typical working man’s pub, like thousands across the UK.

What caught our attention was the simple yet attractive contemporary interior design, modern, tasteful, and not gaudy or tacky like many pub interiors, but with a feeling of hygiene and cleanliness.

We could see from where we were sitting in front of the bar that behind it was immaculate and impeccably clean, which is very important to the public and to women. Often, you visit a nice place, a sound bar, or a restaurant, but the toilets are filthy. For a woman, it is unforgivable. It is illogical to have a beautiful venue, good service, and good food, yet the women’s toilets are dirty and a mess, making it impossible for people to return.

Playing cards with Julie in a good pub with a pleasant atmosphere on a Friday night was quite sublime and special for me. After staying in The Market Tavern for about an hour and a half, we went to Wetherspoons for dinner.

I was surprised to find a decent table vacant inside, while in front of the bar, it was bustling with people. Julie ordered a chicken curry that she enjoys very much, and I just had a simple fish and chips, both of which were very good. We had drinks, shared a brownie with ice cream for dessert, and in the end, it was both a productive and enjoyable day.

I was feeling tired, so I took Julie home. We parted as usual, and I walked back to Wordsley, and I was in bed by midnight.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.

Richard

Photos by Richard George Photography

The post Friday, the 31st of May 2024: “Good Company and Beyond”!!! first appeared on The Long Gringo.

It’s the day after I made the big decision to go back, to return to Brazil.

Yesterday, I bought a KLM flight ticket, and if everything goes smoothly, I should be back for Yasmin’s birthday. I will fly on the morning of 6th June, transfer in Schiphol, Amsterdam, and in just over an hour, I should be on the flight to Rio.

It’s a day flight, hopefully it should go reasonably quickly and not be too tedious. The ETA in Rio is for 8:00 p.m., and hopefully again I won’t be held up at customs or get a taxi, so I should be in Praia do Botafogo around 10:00 p.m.

I haven’t told Yasmin, Nalva, or Jessica that I am returning. The initial idea was not to, but let’s see. I don’t know whether it’s a good idea to tell them or not; I have just over a week to decide.

The atmosphere in the house feels heavy; my mother and I are barely speaking, just exchanging the bare minimum. This morning, she was cleaning the kitchen floor, so I took the opportunity to tell her that I have bought a ticket to go back.

I got the impression that she was surprised; she had not expected it so soon. Perhaps I have been defiant in acting against her will to control me. Or maybe, even though it is a surprise, it is a relief for her.

What really hurts is that, before coming to England, I had given her a vote of confidence because I believed she would change. How stupid, naive, or even optimistic I was and have been, people do not change their spots in terms of their essence; their essence never changes.

Every time I went out with Julie, my mother would try to make me feel guilty, often using cooking, dinner times, and her routine to manipulate me and gain some leverage. If I didn’t fall for her tactics, things would only get worse.

When I first started going out with Julie, I tried to make her understand that at 58, I have my own life and the right to be happy with whoever I choose, but it was no good; she was already determined that I should return to Brazil and ultimately give things another go with Nalva.

But now, upon reflection, maybe it is because my mother has been alone for so long and has always pushed people away. It is unfamiliar for her to have a family member near her these days and to interact with that person daily.

I believe the core of my mother is not, and has never been, very loving. So, even though I have tried my best while here, it is something she is not used to and cannot accept or live with.

Perhaps her independence is so important to her that she’s used to being self-sufficient, and having someone else around could be an added worry, not being convenient for her in her old age; if it ever was.

My disappointment and sense of betrayal by my mother in this situation run deep and have reopened many old wounds, including past issues I thought were long dead and buried. It’s strange how one simple action can trigger a chain of subsequent actions and memories that we believed had been lost forever.

On the other side is Julie, supposedly devastated, crying profusely and questioning my actions, repeatedly asking why I would leave her. In some ways, she has valid reasons, but in others, she does not. We are adults; she knows I have a history in Brazil with two daughters waiting for me there. It is only a matter of time before I have to go back for some reason.

I also believe she is a little selfish in saying, ‘Why would you leave me?’ and ‘I do not understand why you would do this?’, which, for me, is very egocentric and a blatant form of emotional blackmail. I also feel Julie has done very little to make me want to stay.

Over the past two and a half months of our relationship, it has been difficult for me to be pulled between my mother and her. It is also very hard for others to understand the situation when I talk about my mother; only those who have had direct contact with her truly know what she is like.

I am angry, but it will pass. I am just letting things happen and take their course. If it is meant to be, it will be; if not, then it was never meant to be.

It is late afternoon, and Julie picked me up, taking me into the stunning British countryside. Just five minutes by car from where my mother lives, we were driving along beautiful winding roads lined with trees, woodlands, and farmland. Now and then, you spot an old farmhouse or the entrance to a farm; the connecting towns and villages via the country roads are a delight in themselves.

We visited the small, narrowboat marina and then went to the navigation pub, which is situated next to a canal with quite a few narrowboats berthed along its edge. We walked a little, and on the way back, we popped into the pub, had two cappuccinos, and played Gin Rummy. Playing cards in the pub was sublime; it was a truly quintessential moment for me.

It was also funny that the barmaid was surprised, even shocked, that I had remembered her name from our previous visit.

A lovely, gentle evening spent with someone special.

In bed by 11:00 p.m.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.

Richard

Photos by Richard George Photography

The post Sunday, the 26th of May 2024: “Heartbreaking Decision”!!! first appeared on The Long Gringo.

One of the habits I have grown to love and appreciate here in England is going to a café or coffee shop to work.

I had journaled at the Portuguese bakery in Flamengo, Rio, several times and enjoyed it, but not as much as here in England.

There are two cafes very near where I live. One is ‘The Greedy Cow’, which is run by Luke. It is a tiny cafe with very few tables and chairs. Julie calls Luke an enormous ‘greaser’ because he is a big man, probably at least 140-150 kilos, but he is a very nice guy; a gentle giant.

However, ‘The Greedy Cow’ is missing something in terms of charm, finesse, and maybe even a little hygiene and organisation. I visited once, and it was okay, but nothing that made me want to go back.

The second cafe, ‘Wordsley Cafe on the Green’, which feels like a second home to me in England, and where Julie works, is quite special. The owners, a couple named Jim and Jo, bought the business from the previous owner, who was doing quite well but was forced to sell due to health problems.

Jim is Scottish with a powerful accent, yet surprisingly soft-spoken. Sometimes it is hard to understand him because of his thick Scottish accent and his gentle voice.

The first time I went to the cafe was in winter, in the middle to late afternoon, with hardly anyone there except the staff. It was already dark, and I entered, seeing no customers, and walked straight out.

The second time was in the morning; I wasn’t aware that, traditionally, people visit cafes more so in the morning here in England for tea, coffee, a snack, or breakfast, and that after around 1:00 p.m., the activity drops significantly.

Unintentionally, I began going to the café regularly, in the mornings before classes. I would enter, find a small table, place my pump bag down, approach the counter, order and pay for a tea with limes, then return to my table, pull out my journal, and write.

I did this two or three times a week for weeks, then months. People began to notice me, ask about me, and eventually come over to ask what I was doing, writing, or studying. We are animals, and, like animals, most of us approach strangers only when we are sure it is safe.

During all this time, I was discreetly and indirectly flirting with Julie, and she was definitely doing the same, reciprocating. When I found out that the cafe would close between Christmas and New Year, I was devastated. I would not be able to go to the cafe then, and more importantly, see Julie. It was a difficult time for me.

Julie and I went on our first date on 9 March to see Dune 2 at the cinema in Merry Hill Shopping Centre, more than two months into the new year. Before this, I didn’t know whether she was married, dating someone, gay, or just free; only time revealed the truth about the road ahead.

But the café has become a second home where I have grown to love the place and the people who make it so special!

Apart from Julie, there is Diane, who works there as a waitress. She is a woman my age, and she is trendy in her appearance. I believe she is married and helps look after her mother, but she appears to have issues, especially with drinking.

Jim, the owner, a very nice man who works as the chef in the kitchen, is extremely helpful to his customers. He often pops out of his kitchen to check if everything is well and in order. When I occasionally go to the cafe very early, between 8:00 and 8:30, to get some work done before it gets busy, he likes to come out from the kitchen first to chat, which is nice, but neither of us gets any work done.

Jo, his wife, is a quite large woman who always seems cheerful, talkative, and with her aerial switched on all the time. I have spoken to other customers at other tables, from a distance, in a low voice, and then suddenly she joins the conversation from a distance. How remarkable is that?

And then there are Chaz and Dave; those are not their real names, as Julie ironically gave them their nicknames. They are an elderly couple who come in for breakfast every day, but unfortunately, they have a daughter undergoing chemotherapy at the moment. Last week, they sat next to me, and we had a chat. I always ask about their daughter when I see them, and they are always very kind and attentive.

And finally, there is Patrick, an Irishman in his mid-70s, who, besides having Parkinson’s, has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I get the impression that he worked with security or even the military in the past; nowadays, he buys and sells antiques. The cafe is his home and base.

I don’t think he has any family nearby. He’s loud and enjoys drawing attention, which I don’t mind as I consider him harmless. The café provides him with service and comfort in his old age, likely his final years. If the café didn’t exist or weren’t there, he would probably need to find another or become even lonelier.

There are many others: women from the community poetry society, and others who know me by sight and I them. All of us together form this beautiful, little, diverse micro-world and ecosystem of the cafe on the green.

If the cafe on the green had not existed, my life would have been poorer and emptier, and I would not have met Julie.

Thank you, the cafe on the green, for existing, what you are and what you have given me and probably others is invaluable.

In bed by 11:00 p.m.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.

Richard

Photos by Richard George Photography

The post Friday, the 24th of May 2024: “Cafe on the Green”!!! first appeared on The Long Gringo.

Yesterday was a bank holiday in Brazil, so I couldn’t work or officially give classes.

I posted a blog and made an entry in my journal. However, I couldn’t teach any classes, except for Marcelo at 10:00 p.m., and I also experienced some stress with my mother over food. I have come to the conclusion that my mother is trying to overfeed me out of an unconscious need to overcompensate for love, attention, or affection she lacked in the past.

It is not a conscious decision on her part; rather, it seems more like an unconscious belief that either she needs to overcompensate or she might even be trying to kill me by overeating.

Today marks the return to work, a typical workday, even though yesterday was a bank holiday in the middle of the week in Brazil. England’s Labour Day will be moved to the following Monday, which is also a bank holiday, and will be observed on that day.

It makes sense, and since I live in England but work online for Brazil, in theory, I should get two bank holidays for the same occasion. While this seems reasonable, it actually isn’t. Nothing comes for free, and overindulgence could end up costly in the long run.

There is no free lunch!

In the morning, I visited the local café to have a coffee and write my journal entry there. I enjoy writing my entries in different places, or in what I consider pleasant spots, not just at home, indoors, or in the same place.

In Rio, I would sometimes sit in Carmen Miranda park, writing on a concrete bench and table, or very often in the Portuguese bakery, and in England, I am at home or at the local cafe where Julie works. She’s working today, and it seems to be busier than usual.

Alexa’s background music was also rather loud; I found it more intrusive than usual. Some people recognise me and want to talk, even though they know I am trying to write. Others do not know me but are curious because they have seen me writing repeatedly and want to understand why I am writing so much.

What am I studying? I have discovered that writing attracts attention; people are curious. Is it because the image of someone writing has charismatic or historical associations, like Shakespeare, Hemingway, Jane Austen, etc., that the act of writing is so rare nowadays, and seeing someone doing it is quite intriguing.

It’s always lovely to visit the café on the green. Julie usually doesn’t work on Thursday, but today she was there. The other staff treat me very well, and the owner, Jim, is a very kind Scotsman who, when there are few people around, enjoys chatting and picking my brain, though he generally likes to speak to everyone. He’s very communicative, even though sometimes we don’t quite understand what he says.

After leaving the cafe, I had to rush back to teach my classes. The lessons ran from midday until 5:00 p.m. The 11:00 a.m. class was cancelled and rescheduled for the same time tomorrow.

I also wrote and posted a blog for The long gringo, and I believe that, gradually but surely, the quality of my posts is improving in terms of content and presentation. I have also started registering the site with Google AdSense to monetise it in future. I tried, but it did not work. I tried again and again, but AdSense isn’t recognising the site for some reason.

I’m not too concerned about it as I know it will be sorted out. I didn’t have enough time to find a solution today, but it is a priority for me over the next few days. I also paid the domain bill for the sites. It is a yearly contract, and since I have the money to cover it, it’s better to get it done without delay so it’s out of the way.

I also bought some crypto today — not a lot, just a bit. If I had more money, I would buy more, but I don’t, so I have to be content with what I can do. And finally, at the end of the day, I received my kit in the post from the NHS to do a bowel cancer screening test.

I had a urine test about three weeks ago when I registered with the GP health clinic in Kingswinford. I later had a blood test a week later, and now I have been asked to do a bowel cancer screening.

Whenever we mention the word cancer or discuss it, we feel fear and apprehension, especially for those it affects. My mother believes it is just a routine screening because I am a newly registered patient at the clinic. It is possible they have noticed something in my urine or blood tests, and now they want to explore further. Let’s see.

I’m in my late 50s, so it’s quite possible that there’s something there, and if so, I’m as prepared as I can be in such a situation. I have a doctor’s appointment on 10th May, so hopefully all my questions will be answered then. All I know is that I need to live each day, stay positive, and never feel sorry for myself.

Life is too brief, and what is meant to happen will happen.

In bed by 10:00 p.m.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.

Richard

Photos by Richard George Photography

The post Thursday, the 2nd of May 2024: “Embracing Work, Health and Personal Growth”!!! first appeared on The Long Gringo.

It’s Thursday after my birthday, and I’m still feeling its effects, especially since it fell on a Monday and Tuesday was a bank holiday.

The whole week and my routine have been disrupted. Once you break a routine, it’s very hard to get back to the same pace or rhythm as before.

When I had the school, whenever there was a bank holiday, even though it was only one day, the entire week would have been affected; only the following week would I be able to resume a normal workweek.

When we discuss our own personal habits and routines regarding exercise, classes, work, etc., missing a beat makes it difficult to get back to where we were before. It is not impossible, but it is simply hard — you lose it.

I am gradually trying to return to exercising after a bad cold that has been bothering me since the latter part of last week. Now, I am attempting to regain my usual rhythm, even though I am not fully there yet, but I also know that the longer I delay, the worse it will become, which is still very hard.

The lesson is that either you pay the price now with discipline or you pay later with a higher cost and regret.

You regret not having the willpower to be disciplined and focused enough to push yourself towards what you know is good for you, even when feeling lazy, while breaking the laziness barrier is a challenge that anyone can achieve but few actually succeed.

The power of consistency speaks for itself. Consistency enables us to move forward when motivation can fade, vanish, or break down over time. Being consistent is one of the less celebrated or recognised virtues in life and work.

However, with consistency, we can eventually reach our desired destination. We may not do so as quickly as a highly motivated individual, but being consistent allows us to keep going beyond the point where someone motivated might give up if the results are not exactly what they expected or immediate.

I am trying to apply consistency to everything I am doing in my life at the moment.  

• Consistently publishing blog posts from Monday to Friday, ensuring not to miss a day, even on bank holidays.

• Consistently exercising at least five days a week. Even on weekends and when feeling rough after a night out, I remain committed to my work or routine in the morning, at a greater or lesser intensity.

• I am consistent in my relationships with those around me, particularly with my mother, Julie, my daughters, Nalva, and anyone who has regular contact with me.

• Consistent in my word, promises, and integrity, not trying to be someone I am not or would not wish to be. Focused on doing the right thing for the right people with the right intensity, calmness, and clarity.

• And consistent in being kind to myself, in trying to improve to become a better person.

It seems like a lot, and it is; it is much easier to stray off course or lose your way than to stay disciplined and use consistency to maintain your course and focus.

Consistency speaks volumes; people should recognise its value more and incorporate it into their lives.

So today has been a day of exercise, a walk, a blog preparation and post, a journal entry and of course classes.

A consistent day!

Thank you.

Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.

Richard

Photos by Richard George Photography

The post Thursday, the 25th of April 2024: “Consistency, and its Power”!!! first appeared on The Long Gringo.