Wordsley, Stourbridge, England: 17 degrees, cool, but sunny and with blue skies.
It’s midweek and the day before I travel back to Brazil.
I’m feeling strange, a bit anxious, wary of the unknown, and both happy and sad at the same time. I’ve sensed for some time that living with my mother is toxic, and I need to leave, take a break, and breathe a little.
I am also feeling the same or very similar to my relationship with Julie. In some ways, I am giving a lot and not receiving what I believe I deserve in return. Julie also needs time and space to resolve her issues, and I do too, to finalise some things in Brazil.
Returning to Brazil after seven months away and going back to Nalva’s flat, rather than my own place, feels strange, to say the least. It seems as if I am in no man’s land at the moment, with no fixed address, neither in England nor Brazil. However, I know this is temporary, so it’s acceptable for now. I believe in myself, and time will show me the right way to go.
I am up early, exercising, skipping, and elastic outside on the back patio, probably the last for some time. For my flight, my online check-in is done, some crypto bought, and extra baggage is paid for, almost £100. For me, it is a lot of money, but it had to be done.
It would be impossible to fit so much stuff, so many presents, into one suitcase, along with my clothes, etc. My handbag, a duffel bag I bought at Lidl supermarket, looks very good and will go on the plane with me as a carry-on. I will have my laptop, new camera, drone, journal, diary, and all the things I cannot afford to lose if, for some reason, the airline loses my checked luggage in my duffel bag.
My two suitcases are almost fully packed. My main suitcase, which is only medium-sized, not large, is filled with my clothes and personal items. The second suitcase contains mainly presents, more presents, and some personal items.
So, the paperwork is in order, and the taxi to the airport in England is booked. The taxi from the airport in Rio to the South zone has been arranged with a friend of mine in Rio. The suitcases and duffel bags are 90% packed; I will finish packing tomorrow morning before the lift to the airport.
It’s Wednesday, so Julie is working until 2:00 p.m. I have cancelled all my classes today because I have too much to do and need the right frame of mind. It is half past midday, and I am entering the café where Julie works with a bouquet I bought from the shop next door.
Julie is at her post behind the counter. I arrive at the side and give her the flowers. She’s a little embarrassed as everyone is watching; she kisses me on the mouth to thank me, and everything is fine, nobody has died. I find a table to sit at, then go back to the counter to buy my usual tea with limes. I lean forward to indicate I want another peck, and Julie smiles. She stretches, and we share the second kiss of the day, which I thought was nice.
I paid for my tea, returned to my table, and started writing. The tea has arrived, and with the limes, it’s as good as usual. I’m trying to catch up on my journal from a backlog of a few days; it’s difficult, but I’m making progress.
It is 1:30, and Julie decides that since the café is fairly quiet, she will ask Jim to leave 30 minutes earlier than usual. He gives her the okay, and we head to her car and eventually to the old Wharf.
Today is a bit chilly, but walking along the canal is always enjoyable for us. I believe it serves as a form of relaxation. For Julie, it feels like pure therapy, a stress-free time together. Despite the air of gloom and darkness surrounding us, as I will be leaving tomorrow, it’s still nice for us to spend this time together.
We nearly walked back to Wordsley along the canal, leaving the car behind us in Stourbridge. Obviously, we had to return, but throughout all this time, we kept talking, and Julie was always trying to find more reasons or explanations for my return to Brazil, and what it really is.
We went back to the car, and she dropped me off at home, knowing that in a few hours we would be back at the old Wharf Inn and pub for our farewell dinner.
The reservation was for 7:30, but we arrived at 7:20. Julie was dressed all in black: black boots, jeans, and blouse. She looked terrific, as she always does. I wore a long-sleeve black shirt, jeans, and a blazer, as I always do.
The pub was already busy for a Wednesday evening, and the waitress showed us to our table, next to the one where we had first sat. Our table wasn’t the best spot, Julie commented, and I told her it didn’t matter where we sat, as long as we were together, and that’s the truth of it.
Even though we were a little boxed in, but with good food, drinks, and our company and conversation, the time flew by, and we hardly noticed who was next to us. We were in our own little bubble, not observing what was really happening around us.
Julie ordered the traditional chicken and mushroom pie with mashed potatoes and broccoli, and I went for the bacon burger with roast potatoes. My plate was quite a lot of food; I was pigging it, but since it was my last night in England and with this beautiful woman in front of me, why not?
As soon as I arrive in Rio, I will burn it off. We had separate desserts: I had a hot fudge pudding with ice cream, and Julie had a tart with ice cream too; both were very good.
We got to discuss us, the future, and what needs to be done on both sides. It was good, sometimes a little uncomfortable, to speak the whole truth, but it was necessary. I was happy to be there with her, to spend our last night together, until the bill arrived.
In pounds, it was a bit expensive; in Brazilian Reais, it was a kidney. I had to sell my left kidney for the second time, and then we left. I am a walking enigma to modern medical science.
It has been a mixed night with good food, company, conversation, our feelings on our cuffs, and a touch of melancholy that should be worthwhile in the near future. When we returned to the car, we stayed there listening to music and kissing for almost an hour. The perfect ending to an exceptional night, even though it was the last for some time.
Thank you, Julie!
Tomorrow Brazil.
In bed by 1:00 p.m.
Thank you.
Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.
Richard
