Journalled on Monday, 15th of May 2023 | Flamengo, Rio de Janeiro: 25 degrees, warmish, sunny, and slightly overcast.
Monday is the beginning of the week, and things are beginning to show light, a new start.
The day began well with exercise early, a coffee on the way home, and classes the whole day, nothing new or remarkable.
I hadn’t slept well the night before because I noticed Yasmin had decided to study only late Sunday evening. All day, she had amused herself on her tablet and cell phone, with no voluntary responsibility to do what was right in her studies.
I have also noticed that if I let her, she will stay home all day in the dark, without going out or feeling the need to go outdoors. Yasmin will soon be sixteen; as a father, I must try to change this situation before it is too late. She needs to realise the significance of education and have a genuine interest in learning.
Her academic future requires her to be proactive and take the initiative. She should also stay physically fit by walking and caring for herself with confidence and pride.
I’m concerned that my youngest daughter isn’t putting in much effort and is only doing the bare minimum.
As for my eldest daughter, she is overweight, and I believe it is due to a lack of discipline when it comes to physical exercise. However, I have noticed a change, and I hope she’ll keep it up rather than stop.
As I have said before, from a very young age, I played in the street and the fields near where I lived, walking three, four, or even five kilometres daily, as time meant nothing to me. If Yasmin walks five hundred metres, she complains.
I am trying to say there is no room for laziness in life, especially when you are young and have your whole life ahead of you. You need to take advantage of every second, minute and hour of every day without the impoverished mentality that life owes us something.
We must go out into the world and fight for what we want like anybody else, as everybody else who wants something knows that only through sacrifice, hard work, determination, focus and discipline.
Nothing falls from the sky into our laps; we have to fight for it; there is no room in life for victims and victimisation. Victims usually end up at the back of the queue, feeling sorry for themselves whilst waiting for someone to give them an easy ride.
My father abandoned my brother and me when we were still relatively young, so there was no real father figure to give us direction in our adolescence. This is what I have been trying to do with both Yasmin and Jessica. More so with Yasmin, since Jessica is now an adult and I’m nearby for whatever she needs.
So, I have decided on two things Yasmin must do before her ear is pierced for her birthday in June.
When Yasmin arrived home from school at about 2 pm, I immediately told her I wanted to talk. Whenever I say this to my daughters, they automatically become apprehensive and concerned. We sat in the living room, and I explained that I was worried about her and some aspects of her life.
I told her that life is a two-way street and that I would not pay for her piercing until two conditions had been met.
- First, I only want her to use her cell phone or tablet for personal and leisure use only after seven in the evening. It could be earlier, but I thought seven pm was a reasonable hour.
- Second, she would have to enrol in a gym or fitness school at the beach and lose some weight.
I don’t think these proposals or conditions were radical or unfair; they were simply what she needed to do to get used to looking after her own mind and body.
Her first reaction was shock, denial and aggressiveness. I know many women who believe the best defence is to attack, and that is precisely what she did. Then she cried, and later that evening she returned to aggression.
Her mother has good intentions but struggles with execution and focus. I have done what her mother could not do by setting limits and conditions for Yasmin’s improvement. I think I did the right thing, but only time will tell, so let’s see what happens
I also don’t want, in the future, to have a heavy conscience thinking about what I should have done in the past and didn’t, and why not. I have also concluded that life is full of small emotional earthquakes, and if there are no earthquakes, then you are dead.
Our lives are certainly not perfect, and the societies we live in are not perfect either, so we must make ripples in the water of our lives to change or stop bad habits we keep repeating, so our lives can move forward.
Now, I am the villain at home. I have been living with Nalva and Yasmin for almost two weeks, and I am already trying to change everything that is wrong. The fight is on!!! The flat is cleaner and more organised, the accounts and bills are up to date, and my daughter needs to take on more responsibility.
In bed by 10 p.m.
Thank you very much.
Thanks for reading my blog. Check out my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments.
Richard
