Journalled on Sunday, 1 October 2023 | Flamengo, Rio de Janeiro: 24 degrees, overcast and rainy.
It has been raining since yesterday, so I cannot exercise outside today.
Instead, I will walk with Perola around Flamengo, do some work on the computer, and watch a film before going to bed early.
It is the 1st of October, and I have less than two months left before I travel to England for the first time in roughly 22 years. It has been a long time since I was away from my hometown, my country, my family, and my friends.
The last time I was in England was in 2001, shortly after 9/11 and the Twin Towers. That was a long time ago. Facebook did not appear until 2004, and the first iPhone was launched in June 2007.
So, I have not been to England since before Facebook and the iPhone. Looking at it another way, it has been a long time. In economic terms, a generation is considered to be 25 years, so I have not been to England for almost a generation. There have been several reasons why I have not visited England for a long time.
The primary reason is that life often takes us in a different direction, leading us away from our previous experiences. Some more specific reasons are:
- Money: An international flight ticket from Rio to Birmingham or London is not cheap. With school and family responsibilities, it was almost impossible for me to visit then. My mother visited Brazil several times to see her granddaughters, but the last time I was in England was just before I opened the school.
- The school: I last went to England just before opening the school. Since opening the school, I have never had free time to go to England. I have only now been able to go to England after the school closed due to the pandemic. I do not think it is just a coincidence, but having your own business, especially a small business, and being 100% hands-on, trying to make it work and survive, makes it difficult, if not almost impossible, to do anything else.
- Nalva and Yasmin: I started dating Nalva in 2003, and Yasmin was born in 2007. Shortly after getting to know Nalva, she bought me Bruce, my first boxer, in 2004. After Yasmin was born in 2007, I felt like it was game over and checkmate for Richard. It was impossible to do anything else but to provide for others. And that is how it has been until now.
- My mother: My mother has always been an extremely difficult person to deal with, and I think she might have some sociopathic tendencies. When I visited England 22 years ago, things were okay for the first week or two, but they worsened by the third week. Last week was particularly difficult, as my mother had a mental crisis and brought up past issues from my childhood, telling me how bad I was and that I was a mistake. I do not think it is necessary to go into all the details to understand what was said. When I came back, it took me some time to put myself back together, as it is not expected to have such a cruel mother in your life, and there was a lot of hurt. The last time I had been to England was five years before that, so it was natural that I would find it nice when I went, but I did not. There is always a problem.
One of my characteristics, which I do not know if is good or bad, is that I do not hold grudges. I also forget things that have upset me very quickly.
I do not dwell on or ruminate about things people have done to me. Allowing negative thoughts to fester and take over our minds is not good for our mental health.
Sometimes, we misinterpret situations. We may believe someone has done something against us because of our defences or ignorance. This can cause us to blow the situation out of proportion. Even if someone intentionally does something wrong to us, something we feel we do not deserve, it is their problem, not ours.
What people do for or against us is their choice. What we can choose is how we deal with it. Personally, I do not hold grudges. I tend to forget what someone did to me quickly and move on, which is quite helpful and convenient.
So, this is it. The countdown to England is less than two months away. I will be there. Let us see what happens. Will it be a replay of the past or a pleasant surprise? In theory, it should be a pleasant surprise, since I have not been there in so long. But in theory and logic, we know that people do not change so that it could be a replay.
Only the future will show us!!!
In bed by 9 p.m.
Thank you.
Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.
Richard
