Journalled on Wednesday, 24 July 2024 | Flamengo, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil: 24 degrees, warm and sunny.
It is the middle of the week, and I feel as if I am swimming in a vast sea of uncertainty against a strong current.
Until now, ‘the long gringo’ blog has not been monetised. We fill one hole, block it, and then another appears. I know that Alex is doing his best and that it will be resolved eventually, but it is a bit disheartening.
I am about to begin a monstrous new project, ‘Teahogui’, which, if it does not go well, could sink me financially. It is a lot of responsibility to begin, build and run it. I see it as an enormous challenge, and I am embarking on it almost immediately. I don’t know how it will turn out.
How stupid is that?
I am living with Nalva and Yasmin, sleeping on the sofa. One of the reasons for coming back to Brazil was Yasmin’s birthday, which has passed. I need peace and quiet to work. I do not really have it 100% here at the moment, and the more tranquil it is over the next couple of months, the more productive I will be.
I only see it getting worse with Nalva. Our relationship is worse. She seems more aggressive, so I need to decide whether to stay in Brazil for longer than I had already planned, find a place, or go back to England and weather the toxicity of my mother until I find a place to live.
Obviously, these are logistical and geographical problems that, for my age, are a little lame.
I have been putting off making faceless YouTube videos for about a year now. The main reason has been content for ‘the long gringo’ blog. Now that it has more than 200 blog posts, and I am only waiting for monetisation, the idea is to use the daily journal posts and blog entries as scripts for faceless videos on the YouTube channel.
Coincidentally, I have just received news that my other YouTube channel for the school, ‘The Right Way English School’, has reached 1000 subscribers, allowing it to be monetised.
For me, this is a sign to now go deep into faceless videos for two channels on YouTube at the same time, ‘The long gringo’ and ‘The right way English school’.
I have scripts and material ready for both. It is just a matter of turning them into video content using one of many AI platforms, such as ‘Descript’, editing and tweaking them a little, and then uploading them. Building 2 channels over the next six months or so until the end of the year could be very profitable.
So I have to start. I have not started yet. I should have begun before. How stupid is that? Everything is there in front of me, but nothing has started yet. It is all defined. Let’s get it defined and on track.
And finally, my ex, regarding matters of the heart. This week we spoke, and after our conversation, I felt good. However, it isn’t the relationship I had hoped for or expected. There is no future for us, as it lacks clarity, especially regarding my return to Brazil.
One of the main reasons I came back was to see how the distance between us would affect our relationship, as I felt it was unclear, almost shallow or superficial. I need to resolve this situation and move on.
Some big question marks need to be addressed over the months leading up to the end of the year, and how I address them will show who I am as a person and a man.
In bed by 11 p.m.
Thank you.
Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.
Richard
