Journalled on Tuesday, 21 January 2025 | Santo Cristo, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil: 31 degrees, hot, sunny, sticky, slightly overcast and stormy at the end of the day.

Last night, Julie went back to Kingswinford, England, after spending almost a month with me in Rio.

From Boxing Day, the 26th of December 2024, until yesterday, the 20th of January 2025, she had been staying with me for her holidays. I consequently took advantage of her being here also to have my own holidays, which I haven’t had in a long, long time, a month off work.

This month of holidays was a time when I was able to relax, enjoy the company of someone very special to me, get out of Rio for a couple of days, and visit one of the most enchanting towns in Brazil, all while thinking about my life, what is important to me, where I would like to be in the near future, and what I would like to be doing.

I’m very grateful for the time we have had together and look forward to spending more time together in the future, but now it is back to reality, with the hard grind and change.

Today, the 21st of January, is the first working day of the new year for me. I had been uploading some videos to YouTube for the long gringo channel while Julie was here, but only sporadically, when I had a couple of hours free, which was amazingly seldom.

While she was here, there was very little free time. Every day we had something to do, somewhere to go, or somebody to meet.

It was strange waking up this morning without Julie next to me; her naked bum would be pressed against my body under the sheets. And our traditional morning coffee, which I would make every morning, is now only for me, not for the two of us.

What also caught my attention was that I have two identical off-white mugs, one of which has a few minor chips on the rim and base. Julie refused the chipped mug and preferred the other, which had no chips, so it became a tradition for me to drink only from the chipped one.

I think that in many situations a man has to give way or give in to his partner, in some ways, probably in the name of peace.

This morning, while preparing coffee, I instinctively reached for Julie’s usual unchipped cup. It was strange to look down at the mug in my hand, wondering whether to drink from it.

It took me less than a second to switch to my chipped mug, which I had been forced to use while Julie was here. I also set Julie’s unchipped mug aside to avoid using it.

This little reality check showed me how, in a short time, these small habits, some conscious, others less so, have affected my life. When we live with someone or maintain contact with a loved one, these habits create links that grow under our skin. We only realise how deeply rooted they are when that person has gone or the reality has changed, and we are in reboot mode.

On Tuesday morning, Julie would arrive at Charles de Gaulle International Airport, where she would have to wait another six hours for her connecting flight to Birmingham Airport. Because she had checked her carry-on bag on the plane and, in the rush, had forgotten to take out her coat or jumper, she was now waiting in the Parisian winter cold, with the temperature around 2-3 degrees, much lower than the 25-30° in Rio. She was without protection.

I told her on WhatsApp to go to a duty-free shop and buy something to wear while she’s waiting for the connecting flight, but she didn’t.

Fortunately for her, the connecting flight was neither cancelled nor delayed, allowing her to arrive at Birmingham Airport at about 9:30 in the evening, roughly 24 hours after she had begun travelling.

The pre-booked taxi driver was waiting for her in the car park, and at about 11 p.m. English time, she was home, safe and sound. After talking to her parents about Brazil and the return flight, she called me to say she had arrived safely and was already missing me.

I was missing her, too!

Today, the first day back at work since before Christmas last December, I gave some classes, worked on the computer, and planned my week. I am back to reality, and to the war, and someone and something are missing!

In bed by 11 p.m.