Journalled on Friday, 10 November 2023 | Flamengo, Rio de Janeiro: 27 degrees, hot and very sunny.
It’s Friday, and there are 12 days until I travel.
The countdown is on! I’ve already downloaded the KLM app, which lets me organise my flight and all the other details, so I don’t get anything wrong on the day.
I can check in online a few days before the flight, not necessarily on the day of the flight. All I need to do is weigh and dispatch my luggage to receive my boarding passes on the day of the flight. Therefore, when going to the airport on the day of the flight, my passport and Brazilian ID are the only documents I need to take. The rest is on my mobile.
I will pack my bags on the 21st, the day before, or on the 22nd, when I travel, so everything is more or less in order. I will need to buy small gifts, such as flip-flops and perfume from Boticário or Natura, two well-known Brazilian brands.
I might also consider getting a football shirt for my nephew and perhaps some coffee. Apart from my trip, I can sense an air of tension building at home. Yasmin has not spoken to me properly for the past four months, and I sense it with Nalva too. Overall, the tension in the house is very strong.
I’m trying to avoid friction, confusion, conflict, or fights. I don’t want the next week and a half to undermine the last six months I’ve spent living here. It has been an experience I never expected to have again while living with Nalva. It has been both good and bad. Good, primarily, because we did not end up killing each other. That is already a plus.
Also, I believe we have a closer, more sincere relationship than before. I’m speaking for myself, not for her, so I’m unsure how she perceives it.
However, I feel that we have a better understanding of one another in some respects. It has reminded me how different we are in so many ways, and even if there were more feelings, and there are not, it would be almost impossible to be together. It has brought me clarity about her.
I know she wants me to help her buy a house or flat in the future, and I will do so on my terms. I will help her achieve greater stability and a solid foundation. That said, Nalva is complicated, and it is terrible to say this, but she has a poverty mindset. I will discuss this in another post, not now, as I believe it is hard to change. In every respect, I want her to be well and to find her way, and I thank her for the last six months.
But what should have been good was the time with my daughter Yasmin. Instead of having quality time with her, it turned into a full-blown fight against me, with her perceiving me as unfair for asking her to do some of the most basic things.
In some ways, I feel my hands were, and still are, tied. I can only hope to find a way to resolve our differences in the future and for Yasmin to find her way in life.
During my stay, I wanted her to take on more responsibility and discipline, and to understand what I was trying to show, teach, and provide for her. Instead, it was thrown back in my face. When I sought support from Nalva in teaching our daughter the right way, all I received was a kick in the teeth. I do not know what the future will hold; I only wish my daughter were more responsible, easier-going, and fairer in her judgements.
This morning, I visited the park with Perola, my eternal companion, a dog; it is always a dog! I exercised while she stayed close, or sometimes wandered off to compliment someone. It was sublime.
Rio is a beautiful city, and spending time in the park with such a special dog makes it even better. All dogs are special. I exercised in the sun, surrounded by trees, greenery, and the bay. It is really, truly spectacular.
I had classes in the afternoon and evening. Everything is good, and I thank you all.
In bed by 10.00 p.m.
Thank you.
Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.
Richard
