Journalled on Friday, 28 July 2023 | Flamengo, Rio de Janeiro: 25 degrees, hot, sunny and clear skies.

I’ve noticed that it really affects me when I’m not feeling well. If I’m exhausted, it’s hard for me to perform at my best.

I feel completely exhausted, both mentally and physically, so I can’t do much. The mental exhaustion prevents me from performing well in my classes. I’m less spontaneous, and I have difficulty conveying what I’m trying to teach the pupils.

This July, I have felt both lost and found.

The last two weeks of my daughter’s school holidays have been challenging. I strive to be a good father, and I insist she take at least a one-hour walk every day. After the walk, she could do whatever she wanted, but the walk was a priority. This small request has led to a lot of stress and confusion.

I thought I was doing something good by helping my daughter develop a positive routine and habits she could maintain for the rest of her life. However, the opposite happened. Instead of appreciation, I was met with resentment and anger.

One of the excuses she gave was that she was on holiday and had the right to do nothing. I was surprised by her frankness and sense of righteousness.

I never had such rights when I was her age. It was a matter of common sense and respect for our elders. This stress has been very upsetting for me. I have been seen as the villain, the insensitive one.

Maybe it is because, during the arguments, I said she was fat and stupid. She’s overweight, and childhood obesity is rampant in the Western world. Certainly, I don’t want my daughter to be imprisoned by this for the rest of her life.

I overheard that her mother had her routine medical check-up last Friday and, coincidentally, was diagnosed with first-stage obesity.

During a heated moment, I made a hurtful comment about her weight and intelligence, and she’s not forgiving me. I wanted to address the real issue, but she’s not interested in it:

1. Firstly, it is due to a lack of understanding of the importance of regular exercise and staying fit.

2. Secondly, for not grasping the value of education and finding it challenging at times.

3. Thirdly, for not appreciating the guidance and teachings I am trying to provide, something I did not receive from my father.

4. Additionally, she seems to overlook the significance of maintaining cleanliness and being proactive. I’ve discussed this with her, but she rarely takes the initiative to interpret situations and take action unless prompted.

5. Lastly, her laziness is something I find genuinely concerning.

Nalva tends to overlook or excuse Yasmin’s actions, prioritising her popularity with her daughter. She does this because she believes that if she can control her daughter, she can control me, and if she controls me, she controls the money.

I am coming to terms with what I can and cannot change. I cannot change my daughter, but I can change myself, my reactions, arguments, concerns, priorities, and boundaries. This is the lesson: Be conscious of what you can and cannot change so as not to suffer or at least suffer less.

It was a simple Friday evening with a cheap bottle of wine.