Journalled on Monday, 25 September 2023 | Flamengo, Rio de Janeiro: 28 degrees, hot, sunny and slightly overcast.
It is Monday again, the start of a new week and the last week of the month.
I will travel to England on 22 November, less than two months away. The countdown has begun! This will be my first visit to England in over 22 years, almost a generation. Am I now a foreigner in England, my own country, as I am a foreigner, a gringo, in Brazil?
I have been living in Brazil for more than 34 years, which is more than half my life, and in some ways, I still feel like a gringo. I do not have any blood relatives in Brazil, such as parents or other family members. I have my daughters, whom I love very much. They are very dear to my heart, but they are different.
Jessica has already grown up and graduated. She is married to Mario and has her whole life ahead of her. Yasmin will soon decide what she wants to do and set out into the world. I wish her luck. I have tried to do my part as a father; whether I have done a good or bad job, I don’t know. You will have to ask them about it. Like many parents, I did my best given my circumstances.
Living in Brazil is often quite solitary, especially for those far from their original family, living abroad rather than in their home country. I have always been a bit of a loner, even at school. I travelled to London alone and eventually to Brazil. Our life circumstances are directly related to us and our decisions.
Why have I lived in Brazil for so long? Why didn’t I stay in England or London? Why did I go to the other side of the world? Was it to build a future, to live, or to run away?
My brother is much more conservative than I am. He has been married to the same woman, Debbie, to date. In some ways, he is fortunate. However, he has never visited Brazil and only goes abroad on package holidays. The only thing we have in common is our dedication to doing the right thing for our families, specifically our children.
I am a foreigner in Brazil and wonder whether I will feel like one when I go to England. I have expat friends who live in other countries, and they say that England has changed from what it used to be.
But we could say the same about the entire world. I have been in Brazil for 34 years and love Rio, but it has deteriorated over time. The same goes for Brazil as a whole. Everything changes, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse.
It is also dangerous to cling to memories as if they define our future experiences. If the past was good, that is great, but it is gone. Life teaches us to move on and not hold on too tightly to the past. If we do, our lives stagnate and we suffer.
Going to England will be a wonderful experience, with both good and challenging aspects. It will show me what England is like and what it offers, dispelling any misconceptions I may have. I also think that detoxing from Brazil, with all its problems, will be particularly good for me.
I have weathered Brazil’s 30-odd years of political and economic confusion, impeachment, corruption, social issues, etc. It has taken a toll on our health, especially our mental health. Living in Brazil is not easy.
It is not just a matter of living; it is a matter of survival. I have been surviving in Brazil all this time, not just me, but two hundred million-plus people. Brazil has everything it needs to succeed: the people, the topography, the resources, everything. What goes wrong is the politicians, their egos, and their greed.
Because of all this, we suffer a lot here. However, I have learned from the Brazilian people that they always have the power to look positively, no matter what. Brazilian people are optimistic; there is always a positive outlook, even when despair haunts us from behind. We always find a way to maintain a positive outlook!!!
Going to England promises!!!
I feel as if something is waiting for me there. If so, let us see what it is. If not, it is just my imagination. Whatever comes is a gain. It is part of life and the path we choose.
In the morning, I journaled. I then took Perola, my faithful companion, to the park for some exercise. I felt great afterwards. For the rest of the day, I taught classes and made progress on developing the websites.
Everything is good.
In bed by 9.30 p.m.
Thank you.
Thanks for reading this blog post. Please explore my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments section.
Richard
