Journalled on Saturday, April 1st, April Fools’ Day | Copacabana, Rio de Janeiro: 30 degrees, hot, sunny and slightly cloudy.
It is April, and today is April 1st, also known as April Fools’ Day. In Brazil, we call it Dia da Mentira, which translates to “the day of the lie.”
I can tell the difference between a prank, a joke, and a lie to some extent. Regardless, it’s a beautiful day here in Rio.
The early morning temperature is a bit cool at 20°C, with a light breeze. Even though the sun is out, it is still cool, and I absolutely adore the wind. The middle seasons in Rio, Spring and Autumn, are my favourite and incredibly special. They are usually cool, sunny, and breezy.
This weekend, Yasmin should be with me; last weekend, she stayed with her mother because she had school exams all week. She didn’t come to my place for her functional training because it was a busy week.
Yesterday, I called her to confirm whether she would come to my place later that day or today, because I wanted to secure a position. She told me she was waiting for her mother to get off work, and that once her mother arrived, she would talk to her and then tell me.
Did she do this? NO!!!
I offered to pick her up from her mother’s or meet her at the Metro station, but she didn’t call or message me later that night. So, Saturday morning, I got up early, did my exercise at the end of Leme, had a coffee at the local baker’s on the way back and went to the supermarket; all the things I like to do in the morning at the weekend.
When I returned, I showered, looked at a few things online, and then started writing my journal entry for the day. As soon as I began to put pen to paper, someone sent me a good morning message. Yes, you guessed it: Yasmin.
When I read the message, it was just a simple ‘good morning’-bom dia, ‘good morning’-bom dia-but something changed inside me. It was anger that wasn’t premeditated; it just came from inside me.
My daughter could not have been bothered to tell me what she had arranged or decided with her mother.
I felt I was no one of special importance or significance to inform me of her plans so that I could arrange my life accordingly.
I am always on standby as her father, ready to help or assist her whenever she needs me, no matter the time or place. All of these feelings were suddenly bottled up inside of me. When I called her, she answered right away; even though it was 11 am, she was still half asleep. This was like throwing gasoline onto an already raging fire.
Because I was a little uncontrollable with anger, I called attention to her lack of consideration in not advising me about what she and her mother had decided. She was surprised, initially went on the defensive, then shifted to an aggressive tone, claiming nothing had been decided until that moment.
Nothing had been decided!!!
That was my daughter’s excuse. Her mother arrived home tired after work; neither of them said anything to the other, and it was left as it was. Ok, for her mother, whom I had already questioned the day before, and for Yasmin, my father didn’t matter. This made me even angrier, because it showed that, beyond the lack of consideration, there was a manoeuvre to make an excuse.
Find an excuse and use it because it is the perfect way to get out of something.
I’m frustrated with excuses; living in Brazil for so long, you see and hear them for every problem here. In my old age, I have concluded that people do what they want. If they give you an excuse, it is probably because it wasn’t essential to them. So, when someone gives me an excuse, it is like a lie, an indirect insult to me, or a little of both.
It was a heated conversation because I wanted to show Yasmin that I am not just anybody, and because if she gives her word on something, she must keep it. I may have blamed her at least once, but she is okay.
More importantly, I hope she has learned a lesson from it. I also learned a lesson from it; maybe we, the parents, are not as important to our children as we think we are, or is it just me?
Later that day, Yasmin’s mother sent me a recorded message to apologise for not informing me. It was clear Yasmin had already spoken to her mother about it, so they both felt a bit embarrassed.
Although the incident has passed, it highlights certain aspects of life and how we tend to expect too much of others. Moreover, it reminds us that we may not matter as much in other people’s lives as we think.
The rest of the day was relaxing, a little studying and making the most of one of the few days where I could do what I liked.
In bed by 10 p.m.
Thank you.
Thanks for reading my blog. Check out my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments.
Richard
