Copacabana, Rio de Janeiro: 26oC, warm, sunny, and slightly overcast.
I got laid again!!! Up at 4 am, a series of exercises at home and out in the street by 5.
A heavy workout at the end of Leme until about half past six. Home again for seven, a shower and a change of clothes, and a green tea to be ready for the first class at 8.
Classes the whole day, including Dona Vera’s presential class at half past three in the afternoon. My last class was at 7 pm, and I was a little tired, but a female friend of mine wanted to come by and see me with a bottle of wine after it.
She arrived at half past eight without the wine; luckily, I already had two bottles left over from my birthday.
One had already been opened and was half full, while the other was still uncorked. We ordered a pizza, talked a little, and then the fun began. I am older than last week, but I can still make a woman happy.
Even though she is a very dear and charming person, before she arrived, I had secretly wanted her not to come orto give an excuse to come another day. She had not, so I had to receive her. It was enjoyable; she was genuinely friendly, especially in her company, and she ended up staying the night.
Sometimes, a wave of denial comes over me, a feeling of not wanting to expose myself to someone else, preferring to stay alone, even knowing what could happen could be exceptionally good.
It is as if when I am with somebody, or when I have to be with somebody, it is an effort, a work, like a kind of obligation, and as it is, it would not be pleasant. Or am I just too lazy to do something with another person, to invest in something good for me with somebody else?
Or am I getting so used to the quality of my own company that I do not need someone else to be happy?
Another thing that I have noticed about myself is that one night is enough; one evening is more than OK; two or three days consecutively together with the same person is a lot, and I am not talking about sex; it is about consumed energy, used to be with someone.
It is as if, sometimes, when I am with another person, I am looking at the scene from outside my body, as a third person. I am observing everything around that is happening from two or three metres away, watching how every little detail unfolds.
In the last five or six years, I have come to feel detached from myself when I am with someone. What can I say? Am I a bad person for this? I hope not!!!
We slept late but well from a night of good company, food, wine, and sex.
Thank you very much.
Thanks for reading my blog. Check out my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments.
Richard
