Journalled on Wednesday, 20 September 2023 | Flamengo, Rio de Janeiro: 25 degrees, warm, sunny and slightly overcast.

It is Wednesday, and although the heat has cooled down a bit, we are still experiencing a heat wave.

I woke up early to have a coffee and write in my journal. It’s very therapeutic to put my thoughts and feelings down on paper and to express my future intentions. I’m beginning to notice and appreciate how much my life has changed in such a short time, simply by making small changes.

The changes have begun. You are different. People see the difference, but you haven’t noticed yet. I’m feeling this. I also feel that because of my change, the people, friends, family, etc., either have problems with my change or I have problems with them. Or what they represented to you in your old life is not what they represent today.

Things that were once considered acceptable are no longer so. There are situations you used to pretend were okay and would accept, but you can’t any more because they are not aligned with who you are now. There is less patience or tolerance for accepting something wrong than there was before. What was acceptable in the past is no longer acceptable.

It now goes against your grain!

A door has opened into a beautiful garden. Everything in it is beautiful. It is a beautiful day, with the sun shining and not a cloud in the sky. The birds are singing, the lawn is perfectly cut, and all the flowers bloom in vivid colours. You don’t want to go back inside the house to the dark, grey place with dingy windows and curtains that keep the sunlight out.

This is what I no longer want. I’m tired of what I’ve had. I never really liked it. Sometimes there were sudden bursts of happiness when someone cleaned the windows, and I could see the garden and its beauty, with the light coming in.

Soon after, the windows would get dirty again, and I couldn’t see outside. I’m sad. I’m just living the same old routine, unhappy with myself. I feel like I can’t do anything about it. But I can. It’s so obvious; it’s staring me in the face.

This metaphor reflects how I see what has happened to me and to many others I know. Before I started exercising and studying, my life felt empty and purposeless. I thought I had meaning, but it was a lie. I was living a lie. When I questioned what was wrong, even though I didn’t know exactly what to do, I realised I needed to take proactive steps for myself.

The minimum I wasn’t doing before was winning. It’s a no-lose situation. Even if we don’t initially see or feel it, that well-being is there. When we eventually feel it, it is bigger than we are. Only a loser would stop and try to kill it, put it down, or control it. It is too big to kill; we can only feed, nurture, and tame it to become the person we should have been long ago.

Effort – Actions – Confidence!

It really isn’t rocket science. It’s just about happiness. If you’re unhappy, try doing the opposite of what you’ve been doing. If you’ve been staying at home, go out. If you haven’t been studying, start. If you’re not exercising, start. If you haven’t been socialising, go out and meet people. If you haven’t been travelling and exploring new places, try it.

The more effort you put in and the more action you take, the more confidence you’ll gain. With confidence, we can change ourselves, our lives, and even the world. It just depends on us.

More and more, I am taking Perola with me to the park. I think she enjoys it as much as I enjoy taking her. I don’t know who is better for whom – either I’m doing her good, or she is doing a lot of good for me. I think I’m receiving so much good back from her. I wanted to help her, but really, she’s helping me much more.

Nalva cooked yakisoba at night, and it was excellent. Much appreciated.