Copacabana, Rio de Janeiro: 22oC, grey, cloudy and rainy.
It is Monday of the last week of the month, and I have been living with my daughter and her mother.
For the most part, it has been tranquil and pleasant; there have only been a few occasions of stress or disagreement. It is not easy for a man my age to go back and live with someone you have had bitter feelings for in the past.
In some ways, I feel bitter because I have paid heavily for my mistakes in the past, and I still feel as though I am paying. These bitter feelings from the past have gone; I respect my ex-wife, who, more importantly, is the mother of my younger daughter, and I probably understand her more now than when I lived with her.
Nalva is a warrior and a hard worker; life has been tough for her. Unfortunately, I feel she is limited in some ways, just as we all are. I am impressed by how she can work all day on her feet, cook in a hot industrial kitchen, come home after work, and start cooking again. Nalva is Baiana, from the state of Bahia.
I have always said jokingly that people from Bahia are friendly and very good at food and music.
She has a natural talent for cooking, and she is currently taking a cookery course to refine and polish it for her future career. I had often told her to consider a cookery course or other courses to develop her natural talent.
Now that she is doing the course, she is feeling realised and more confident as a professional. I have also told her that I see her making a lot of money in the future by cooking for her own business. I hope so for all of us. Usually, everything that I say eventually happens.
I have also noticed that she likes to complain; it is difficult for her to see the positive side of things. I have been paying the rent for her and, more importantly, for my daughter to live in the south zone of Rio since we separated more than 8 years ago, and I have not minded. I know some men would not have done or accepted this.
I had to live and sleep on the floor of my school for a while.
Later, I also had to live in a garage annexe of a house in Rocha, which is a rough neighbourhood in the north zone of Rio. I did this to ensure I could pay my school’s rent and theirs.
I am not trying to be a victim. Still, it was clear to me when I came to live with them in Botafogo, and considering how beautiful Botafogo is, that Nalva doesn’t know how to value what she has, where she is, or the amount of sacrifice that goes into maintaining her there.
We should always be grateful for what we have, no matter what, where, when, or how it is. We do not know what tomorrow will bring, so we must be grateful for what we have today. How can we deserve more if we do not know how to value what we have already got today?
As for Yasmin, living with a teenager twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, especially one who has an extremely strong personality, is not easy. She and her mother are incredibly bad-tempered in the mornings, more so Yasmin than Nalva.
I feel that Yasmin is a little spoiled and consequently needs to have her wings clipped so as not to suffer unnecessarily in the future; she needs to know how life is, as it is not easy. I knew that coming to live with them would not be easy; even though it was financially better for me then, my fate was also to help them in their lives.
Yasmin needs to be more mature for her age to understand that she has to be more active to do good things and to act voluntarily without being told to or demanded. To be concerned with others and that the universe does not revolve only around her.
I also feel that my daughter is a little false; I do not know if it is because of her age and being a teenager, but when she sometimes praises somebody or even something, I don’t think that it is sincere and may be of interest to her personally. Perhaps I am wrong; again, let’s see.
Since my arrival, I have helped to reorganise the flat.
Many things were thrown away during the first weekend I arrived, and what was left was better organised and put in its rightful place. The accumulation of dirty laundry has been zeroed. The kitchen is cleaner and more organised. The flat is clean and tidy. Again, nothing grows or flourishes amidst confusion or conflict.
The shower and sink in the bathroom have been repaired. Hooks have been put on the walls in both the bathroom and the kitchen so things can be hung out of the way. A shelf has also been hung in the living room so that crockery and cutlery can be stored in a convenient place near the kitchen, in easy reach daily.
I’m not sure whether Yasmin and Nalva recognise the difference or appreciate my input into improving their standard of living. I do what I believe is right for them, but there is a limit to what I can do; they also have to do their part.
This is the week of retrospect and the choice of templates for the sites being built.
In bed by 10 pm.
Thank you.
Thanks for reading my blog. Check out my other posts and share your thoughts in the comments.
Richard
